


Rewrite the Stars

by Angelscythe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Abusive Xemsai, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Slow Burn, The Greatest Showman (2017) References, circus AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23173201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: “Ladies and Gentlemen! Come inside! You’ll see everything you wish to see and even more! Are you afraid of snakes, heights, knives, maybe? None of our artists are afraid of those! Come inside and see what Magic is!”Lea is a Fire Trickster, who left recently left his Circus. His path bring him at the Organization XIII Circus... where he met the most enthralling acrobat ever. A Crush... Or perhaps the Destiny?If their paths were meant to cross, he wants to remain in his mind as the one who would make him smile...Art of the amazing Naotoosh and Hyènosaurus Rex/Hyenoroid inside!!!
Relationships: Braig & Isa (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx & Isa (Kingdom Hearts), Isa & Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Isa/Xemnas (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Lea (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 13





	1. Lunar Diviner

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all!!! I wanted to post that sooooo long ago but I go busy and busy and busy and I forgot and then busy and then I forgot... ANYWAY!!! I'm finally posting this but it's almost one year old so i'm really so sorry for my english that must be worse than before.  
> (and yes, that was the moment when I was literally obsessed with The Greatest Showman and obsessed with Rewrite the Stars)
> 
> Anyway! Please, take care of the tag because I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself with content that could make you uneasy.
> 
> On those time, take care of yourself and be responsible, for the others and for you!! You are amazing!!! Don't forget you're loved, stay hydrated, don't panic buy! Thank your medical healthcare/staff and cashiers please!!!!

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Come inside! You’ll see everything you wish to see and even more! Are you afraid of snakes, heights, knives, maybe? None of our artists are afraid of those! Come inside and see what Magic is!”

In the biggest square of the Town, behind a few trees who seemed to be natural gates for the spectacle, there was a gigantic Big Top. It was shiny though showing grey and dull purple colors. If this wasn’t magic by itself?

This man, at few paces from the Circus tent, was appealing the crowd to come inside. But he wasn’t the only one. A bit everywhere in the Town, you could hear them. And, as you approached the entry, there were plenty of people willing to sell their tickets.

Sure this Wandering Circus got money.

To be fair… Lea wasn’t surprise. He was used to hear this name, again and again. Was it the reason he was walking toward this tent holding so much promises? The promise to discover the most beautiful spectacle someone could hope for?

Not e _xactly._

He was sneaking between those willing to buy a ticket for the next representation and those wanting to see the Zoo allowed to the public once you got a ticket. No wonder why they made so much money. You could see family pressing each other around the cage to see big felines, beautiful elephants and snakes. If you slid some munnies in the correct hand, you could even let your child discover the pleasure of riding a horse or a camel…

Obviously, the Ringmaster bought, every time, the biggest place to install his Big Top.

There were real alley full of people here, in the middle of the overpowering stench. And yet… people with rich or sad clothes were walking, looking with fascination.

You could guess it was actively guarded, and, yes, Lea could see two men he wouldn’t piss off for anything in the World but… he was used to sneak out and he could enter anywhere he wished. Sometimes, it just asked time and preparation…

After mixing with a group, Lea walked through an alley and then the visitors excited by everything. Personally, he wasn’t impressed. Not by the Lions, neither the beautiful horses though, yes, they were really well groomed! But he didn’t twitch in front of the elephant or next to this big white snake. He didn’t really pay attention to the tiger in his tiny cage. He still moved, right toward the tent. He knew it wasn’t the entry but he didn’t search the entry…

He took care to stay always in the area where there was the most of onlookers. Moving was sometimes difficult because they were really a lot but he kept going.

He raised an eyebrow when he passed through the aviary with so colorful birds, and approached the tent. Just at the place everybody was.

There, he got his first surprise.

There was a huge Aquarium and, yet, nothing inside but everyone was pressing in front of it…

Though bothered by this, he quickly lifted up the heavy fabric and passed under it, coming just in the other side of the huge forum.

“What are you doing here?”

Lea quickly turned and saw a teenager at few paces from here. She had long length of auburn hair and eyes switching between blue and purple.

“I’m coming to see the Ringmaster.”

“And you didn’t want to pay?” she asked, smiling.

“Kinda.”

“I hope I won’t regret it,” she said, bending slightly to him, the hands on her hips. “But… this won’t make him broke anyway.” She pointed out. “Continue that way. When you’ll arrive next to two big curtains, slide under it.”

“Yeah, that’s the second tent, the backstage, and I’ll find him here.”

“Yes.” She looked toward the bleachers. “Soon, it will be easy to find him, don’t worry.”

“Thank you very much!” Lea smiled.

On these words, he quickly followed her indications. Everybody in the seats was really moved by the spectacle so it wasn’t really hard to sneak out and in. Someone as insignificant as him wouldn’t be noticed, of course.

When he arrived in the artist area, he acted with more prudence and discretion. He moved toward the entry leading to the main tent. He saw the man wearing the famous red jacket. He was watching the acrobat. It was his chance.

“Sir…”

His voice was swallowed by a scream of the crowd.

Classic.

Lea glanced to the big circle. He saw two huge blue ribbons hanging from the very top of the tent. And the artist hanging by an ankle at one of the fabric. Their forehead almost touched the floor but never even brushed it. The artist swirled their foot around the other ribbon and, as they moved away from each, spreading the acrobat’s legs, Lea saw them raise their back.

His back.

He realized it was a man at the moment the ribbons swirled, showing the face.

The artist moved his feet and the fabrics followed the movement. With a roll in the air, his hands grabbed the ribbons, throwing his feet higher and, in a few movements only, he climbed the fabric until the top. He blew a kiss to the crowd who stared at him with passion, only one arm remaining around the ribbon. Ribbon that started to swirl around the circle. And yet he was still holding with one hand.

A wave of scream echoed when, suddenly, he let go on the fabric.

He was falling and there were no ribbons around!!!

New wave of screams.

And applause.

One hand just grabbed this man’s hand.

When did he arrive? When the guy in the big hoop arrived?

With a new movement, the halo crossed the whole tent and the first artist grabbed the ribbon with his arms, his whole body coming down of few centimeters.

The hoop came back and the guy grabbed him by the ankles. In a matter of second, they were flying again. But this time, no more ribbon for the first artist because he raised his body and grabbed the side of the circle with his hands. Lifting himself to catch the upper part of the hoop and so his ankle came around the other’s. He let go on the hoop without a warning.

Screams of fear and excitations echoed in the tent.

Hands closed on a new hoop that swirled under the fabric roof. The second artist’s hands. And the pendulum movement was so fast, at the moment their ankles moved from each other, the first artist was throw in the air. He seemed to fly, sparks spreading around him. He swirled in the air, arms spread in an elegant movement.

The body came down.

Lea heard a groan. “Catch him!”

For a second, Lea heard nothing more, his whole universe swallowed by this fall.

Something wasn’t a part of the spectacle!

Suddenly, the second guy fly through the air, grabbed the ankles and… his owns legs missed to close around the circle.

The end was coming.

And two hands closed around the ribbons still flying around, lifting the two weights with the strength of the arms.

Lea came back to the reality when he heard the applauses.

The second guy rolled on the floor, which was at just few inch and got up with a jump, offering his arms to the first artists who let fall himself in those welcoming arms. Welcoming arms that put him down with softness.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!”

Before Lea could have realized it, the Ringmaster crossed through the alley and came to the first acrobat, taking his hand. With grace, the artist made a reference as a circle was coming down.

“Taking your breath, stealing your mind once again, Saïx the Lunar Diviner!”

The second artist grabbed the circle with his hands but quickly he was only hanging thanks his legs. His head in front of the Lunar Diviner’s he kissed his lips.

The hoop suddenly moved up and the Ringmaster brought his other artist with him. They just passed through the curtains door when a violent slap sound echoed.

“Are you stupid?!”

“ISA!!”

Lea moved back as a young man passed close to him and he saw him throw himself at the Lunar Diviner’s neck.

“I was so scared! Xemnaaaas, those spectacles are so frightening!”

“That’s what the public wants to see,” Saïx said, caressing the chestnut hairs of the young man. “Please, Demyx,” he added, before kissing his forehead, “go help the others. I need to change myself.”

“’kay…”

The young man stepped backward and, after few glances, he left to join the others artists.

Xemnas raised his hand again but Isa held out one of his fingers.

“Who is he?”

The palm stopped at one inch of his cheek. Xemnas turned his head to Lea as Isa hugged himself tightly.

“Who are you?”

“Me? Hello! Name’s Lea. I… Do you have any fire artist? I can do anything with fire. Anything!”

“Do you think being a Circus Artist is that easy?” Xemnas asked. “Saïx, don’t move.”

The acrobat had slightly walked on the side but stopped.

Lea glanced at him then to the Ringmaster.

“I’m not a dumbass, Sir. I left my previous Circus. Everybody talk about you. I saw your spectacle.”

He glanced again at Saïx. The man’s cheek was still red. Lea should show worries toward the Ringmaster but at this point, he believed it was fear. He didn’t know the spectacle. Didn’t know when the Lunar Diviner had to catch himself. Didn’t know why he hadn’t even tried…

“Where did you work before?” Xemnas asked.

“Radiant Garden Circus.”

“Hm… I see…” Xemnas looked toward the circle where applauses came from. The second artist was on the floor, his arms up and a big smile on his lips. The Ringmaster had to go there and announce the next spectacle. “You can stay. You will prove your value. If you fail… You won’t stay long,” he warned.

Then, he turned and walked to the tent, smiling and talking with a warm tone.

Saïx hugged himself a bit more.

“Why…”

“Don’t talk to me,” Saïx said.

“Sorry.”

He glanced at him. This man was… Despite having done such performance, he still had his hairs correctly tied in a bun. His back was showing thanks to the black leotard he was wearing. His longs legs too and also his belly through a transparent crescent moon. The clothe was sparked by tiny golden spots. Like stars. Even the hands had mittens in a moon like shape.

He truly was a Lunar Diviner…


	2. Warming Magic

When the spectacle had been over, Lea had received his own trailer. It was really tiny. Just having the place for a bed. But he wasn’t surprise. That was like that. He was new. He couldn’t have the same privileges as other. They didn’t know him. They even didn’t have shared the meal with him. He had eaten, of course… but alone, on his side.

Lea could have stayed in his trailer. He should have but… But he wanted to walk a bit. Know the place…

Maybe already train for a number?

Prove his value?

Just do something with his life?

He came outside, under the full Moon, and walked through the trailers. If he noticed the animals in their cage, there weren’t anyone outside. The windows were displaying light from everywhere and it was easy to wander here.

Though, as he moved along the circus area, he noticed someone. The moonlight was gleaming, reverberating on different area and _this one_ especially. He jogged to them and smiled when he noticed Kairi, her arms on the side of a huge aquarium. The huge aquarium were everybody was gathering earlier.

“’Night,” he said.

“Night! If you’re still here, I suppose you’re one of us, right?” she smiled.

“Yes!”

“That’s what you wished from the beginning?”

“Yes!” he smiled. “I left my other Circus. Radiant Garden Circus.”

“Oh… A lot of us are coming from there!” she replied. “How many… hm…” She started to count of her fingers. “Well, with you, more than ten, for sure!” she joked, showing her hands. “Why did you leave the Circus?”

“It was hell… I really couldn’t stay there. I ran away… Took the first train. But I couldn’t just stay outside, wandering. You know how it is.”

“Actually… no?”

Lea was surprised but, yet, smiled slightly.

“Well… Me, I can only be a freak. I never had a home…” He looked down. “I couldn’t become an accountable or anything. I had to find another Circus.”

“So you ended here. Why here?”

“It could have been anywhere else. It’s just the first Circus I heard about, the first I found.”

“I see…”

“But you?!” Lea asked with a smile.

“I was born at Radiant Garden but Xemnas wanted to have me in his spectacle. He said he bought me. Someday, I’m asking myself if he really bought me like he would have bought fish at the supermarket?” she asked, letting go a giggle.

“Fuck… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry!! It was longtime ago. I think the things would have been the same if I was here or there! I’m Kairi, by the way!” she said, moving his hand to him so he could shake it.

“You’re strong!” he complimented, shaking it back.

“Thank you!”

“What’s your spectacle? I’ll cheer you up!” Lea said.

“I don’t have a spectacle,” she replied.

This time, the man frowned.

“But you said he wanted you for his spectacle?”

“Yes. But… he couldn’t actually put me in the spectacle. I’m not a talented magician like Luxord, nor a Lady Muscle like Lexaeus or Xaldin. Though they’re not ladies,” she added in a low voice, as if it was a secret.

She was still smiling.

“But then…”

She let out a giggle and jumped in the water. It splashed and Lea was immediately wet from the tip of the hair to the feet. But, especially, he saw a big pink fish tail, shining under the beam of the Moon.

Then the water splashed again and he let out a laugh.

She jumped out of the big tank and swirled, grabbing her tail to release it and land in the aquarium, making more water pass above the edge.

Her head appeared again outside, showing her beautiful smile.

“You’re a Mermaid!”

“I am!”

“A real one!”

“Yes!”

“Woaaah!” Lea said, blinking.

“You really came here because you have to go somewhere if you didn’t know this Circus owned a real Mermaid!”

“Yeah. But people believe this?”

“Not all,” she replied. “But there are so many others people willing to buy my scales. Or the water of my tank!”

“No way?!”

“Yes way!”

They both laughed.

Lea moved his hands and showed his palm to the young lady. He could see the tail move under the Lights around and he brought even more gleam. Fire came from his skin in a perfect ball that turned in big flame, trying to reach the top of the Circus tent.

“You’re doing fire?!” she said.

“Yeah!”

“That’s awesome!”

“It is!!”

Well, honestly, that made him a freak and, once he had stopped to impress people, he was just a Monster. And he didn’t even really impress people. They all believed he was using fire coming from somewhere else. He was just an artist like the other. With the disadvantage to receive the hate every Beast could receive…

It was stupid but, somewhat, he was happy to have meet her. To have someone he could share this experience with. She didn’t even received a spectacle, just has to be there, at the mercy of the crowd. And he already saw child with aquarium: obviously she would have to deal with people knocking that window all the time.

It turned out that Kairi slept only in water. She went to go “in bed” when Lea discovered her. So, after a bit of discussion, he let her and just walked back to his trailer.

It was stupid, maybe, but the fact he had found a friend gave him a feeling to be at home… He still would have to do a lot of work but he could have his place here! He had found someone. Someone as special as him!

As he passed in front of a trailer, he heard sounds. Groans, moans, breath and heavy sighs. He blushed a bit, not that surprised. At Radiant Garden, there was some couple too and you could hear them too. Like that, you could see the trailer quite harshly. He didn’t paid more attention and walked to his own trailer, planning to sleep.

He was twenty or thirty paces away when he heard the voice of the Ringmaster, making him stupidly turn his head.

“Stay,” Xemnas had said.

“I can’t stay. Demyx needs me.”

“He doesn’t need you.”

“Sir… I really can’t stay.”

“I want you to stay.”

Lea walked on the side, frowning. Being a Traveler Performer, being a Circus Artist for so long, it was just normal to him to rely on his Ringmaster, hence why he turned, but this… this he didn’t like it: the conversation turned weird.

“You’re mine…” Xemnas’ voice came out.

“I’m all yours, Sir,” Saïx replied. “ Now and ever. However… I can’t stay. Please, Sir…”

“When will you stay?”

A silence.

“One day…”

“One day, I won’t leave you the choice, Saïx.”

Silence again.

And then, the sound of the door closing echoed.

“You never leave me the choice…”

This time, Lea moved toward Saïx who was putting on a white large pullover over his chest and his jeans.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Saïx turned quickly to him, a cold and frightened look on his face. He stepped back and shook his head before leaving.

Lea didn’t know what this meant.

He watched him move away.

Not going to the trailers lot but somewhere else.

Lea was new here. He knew nothing. No one. But there… he felt something. He felt a sadness coming through him and he did have heard their conversation, could grab a part of the situation.

Maybe this was bad.

Certainly?

He hated himself but he tried to find him. What he had heard? It was bad! Really bad! Saïx maybe needed to talk? Maybe he had badly understand something and everything will be eased when they’ll talk. If Saïx accepted to talk with him because he looked like he didn’t want to talk with him…

But he was worried.

Really worried.

He went at the place he saw Saïx leaving away and walking, he just came out from the lot of trailers. He could think he was on the bad path but he also had the feeling he wasn’t so wrong… He continued to walk until he noticed the man standing next a lake which reverberated the big Moon in the black mirror formed with the calm water…

Lea could have leave, let him there because he was doing nothing wrong, just watching the water.

But…

“You didn’t try to catch you up.”

Saïx jumped once again and turned his head toward him. This time, his eyes were animated with rage. Maybe because tears were rolling along his cheeks. And when the man hugged himself, Lea could read disgust.

Toward him?

For himself?

“Who are you?” Saïx asked.

“Name’s Lea. I’m com…”

“I was there when you introduced yourself. Why are you here? Why are you losing your time?”

Lea couldn’t reply. Maybe it was because he saw his sadness and was willing to do something? He didn’t want to let him alone, suffering. Especially because the two times he truly had seen him, he only seemed to be draped by sadness and horror. It was a lot.

“I don’t have many things to do. I thought… you could wanna talk?”

“Talk? With you?”

Lea looked around him and scratched his nape.

“I don’t see anyone else? Unless you want to talk with the squirrel? Look at those!”

The guy moved his hands to show the fireflies dancing around.

“They aren’t squirrels,” Saïx replied.

“Nooo, but I think they sleep?”

“Probably, yes.”

“And the fireflies are beautiful… The mosquitos will be less fun, though… But if you look correctly, you may see cool animals!”

“Like snakes, camels, elephants and lions? For example?” he asked, hugging himself a bit more.

“Uh… you win!” Lea laughed.

“You said you came from Radiant Garden Circus?”

“Yeah! I talked a bit with Kairi and… that’s the reason the boss accepted me, right? The boss.”

Saïx nodded. “Xemnas has a special relationship with them.”

“You’re coming from there too?” Lea asked, approaching him.

“Yes.”

“May I ask what happened? Why did you…”

“Xemnas bought me.”

Lea remembered that was the same thing for Kairi. He watched as Saïx sat on the edge of the lake, arranging his pullover. But a shoulder keep showing and he hugged himself even more if it was possible.

So, Lea approached him. He had a yellow scarf around his neck so he just untied it and laid it softly on Saïx’s shoulders. The acrobat was surprised one second then calmed down and grabbed a side of the fabric.

“Thank you.”

“Can I sit?”

“Yes… The square is for everyone,” Saïx replied.

Lea sat next to him.

“So… why did you not catch yourself?”

“Can we talk about something else?” Saïx asked. He frowned slightly. “I’m Isa.”

“I thought you were called Saïx?”

But now, he remembered that the young man had called him ‘Isa’ too when he was so worry for him.

“That’s the name Xemnas gave me. He adds an X in the things he owns. It’s my artist name, in a way.”

“’kay, Isa. And the young man? The one afraid for ya?”

“He’s my little brother. Demyx.”

Lea frowned.

“It’s his real name,” Isa said. “He’s just an assistant. He loves to play music. However he doesn’t participate at the different spectacles.”

Lea was almost sure he had heard him mumble ‘it’s better like that’.

“I see.”

Isa closed a bit more his fingers around the yellow fabric.

“You’re thinking I’m an awful person, am I right?”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t catch myself. I wanted to fall on the floor in front of thousands people, in front of my dear little brother…”

Lea didn’t say ‘I though we wouldn’t talk about it’ because he was actually happy they have this discussion. Happy Isa could free the weight on his Heart…

“I don’t think you’re an awful person. I’m rather worried on why. The crowd, I can understand. You don’t care. But you seem to really like your little brother. When I hear your voice when you talk about him… I can tell you truly care for him…”

“I do. He’s the most important. I know… I know I shouldn’t have to do but when I was at the top…” Isa looked to the Moon in the sky. “When I was flying… There was nothing else. Nothing. And I fell. There was nothing too. I wanted…”

“To fly forever, right?”

Isa nodded.

“You don’t have to support that.”

“I have to,” Isa replied.

“No!”

“I’m his belonging!”

“And so it’s that, he made you believe you were an object?” Lea asked, bitter.

“What do you think I’m?” Isa replied. “He bought me. The only thing I was allowed to do was begging for my brother to be with me. I’m his belonging.”

“I think you know it’s wrong. I heard you. You talked back to him!”

“Did you heard when he said, one day, I will have to stay? One day, I will…” He closed his eyes. “One day, I will be so broken I will not be able to talk back. Today, I was able to do it because…”

Isa didn’t continue to talk, his eyes looking the reflect of the Moon in the lake. Lea could see in his eyes the desire to just jump in this Moon. Disappear. Fly forever…

Lea moved his hands and fire created, a bird appearing in it.

Isa couldn’t help but move back. Then, he blinked, looking the fire. Lea only watched him, the face slightly lighten by the flames, giving an orange color to his whole face, coming dancing in his hairs.

“How are you doing this?”

“I always have been able to do it,” he said. “I guess I’m a kind of Monster?” Lea laughed.

He breathed out on the bird that flew and turned around Isa’s head. The acrobat looked it, moving his face to follow the movement.

“This is not the oeuvre of a Monster. This is so beautiful.”

He moved his fingers and brushed the flames. He moved them back because of the burning feeling but not seeming annoyed at all.

“Thank you, Isa…”

“You want to do pyrokinesis show?”

“Yes!”

Lea caught back the bird and approached his hand from Isa. He didn’t touch him though.

“Can I?”

Isa nodded, still gripping the scarf with one hand. He couldn’t help but smile when the bird came in his palm. It was warm but nothing disturbing. It was really sweet, comforting, to be honest…

Lea stared again the face slightly warmed, painted with warm orange and red… He was so beautiful. He could understand Xemnas had wanted him but… seeing him with a slight smile, he wished it could live forever.

“I wish I can let you have it. But… I’m afraid you’d burn the whole Circus.”

“Yes,” Isa laughed softly. “Thank you, however.”

Lea watched him, his Heart beating fast.

“You have a pretty laugh,” he whispered.

“Hm?” Isa said, looking toward him.

Lea hesitated. He didn’t want to oppress him. With the whole situation, frightening him with unsolicited compliment was easy to happen. And he wanted to avoid it so much…

“You have a pretty laugh.”

“Thank you.”

Isa stared the bird and moved his fingers so he could caress it.

“And thank you for the talk. I… I needed it.”

“It’s a pleasure. If you need, come anytime. I know… I know you don’t know me but…”

“I believe it’s because I don’t know you it was easier… Here, I know some people since ten years. It’s hard to become weak at their eyes.”

“To be fair, when I saw you, you looked like a cold untouchable man. Like…” Lea scratched his head.

Isa smirked, passing his fingers under the fiery beak.

“A perfect doll?”

“Yes…”

“That’s pretty much what I have to be?”

“What do you _want_ to be?”

Isa unfolded his legs and his feet brushed the surface of the lake. Tiny circles appeared and came to disturb the Moon reflecting inside.

“I want…” Isa let out a sad laugh. “I don’t know.”

“You have time?”

“I’m twenty-seven years old.”

“You’ve time.” Lea bent slightly toward him. “I don’t push you but really, if you need to talk, just come… I’ll be a listening ear. My shoulders are there for you. And my hand.”

Isa lean on him and kissed his cheek softly.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome…” Lea smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Art of this chapter had been asked to the amazing @Naotoosh_art on Twitter!!! I love her art so much and I'm always honored when she accepts to take my c*mmish!! (I think they are open now by the way!)  
> Please, shove her with love if you don't know her yet!!!!


	3. Upside down tears

“Wake up, sleepy head!”

A groan replied to this happy voice.

“Come on!! I brought you the breakfast so you can stay with me a little bit longer.”

“Perfect proposition.”

Arms grabbed the slight waist and with a scream of joy, the young man landed in the bed and blankets covered them. He couldn’t stop laughing as he hugged back the other.

“Come on, brother!”

“Doesn’t this seem better?” he asked, caressing the chestnut hairs.

“It’s awesome! But don’t you need to train for your spectacle, Isa?”

Isa didn’t reply and hugged him more. Of course, Demyx still believed the spectacle grew more complicate and, yes, if it had been a part of the spectacle, he really should have continued to practice it with his friend, surely. But it wasn’t a part of the spectacle and he didn’t believe Braig would want to learn that. It was chance, or bad luck, if he had caught him on time.

Uh… maybe he really was awaited to prepare something as great as what they did yesterday?

“What is that?”

Isa moved his head to look what his brother had in his hand. It was Lea’s scarf…

Yesterday, the man had given it to him because he was still cold and he had kept it in his hand while sleeping. Why? Because it was the only spark of hope in his life. Demyx was important and he loved him so much but he couldn’t talk with him. He had to stay strong. Well… it was quite ironical because he didn’t think he was strong as he wanted to die but… but if this looked like an accident, maybe.

Maybe…

“It’s just… nothing. I was a bit cold yesterday.”

“Tonight, I’m sleeping with you so you’ll be warmed!”

Isa hugged him. “I really would like it. However… I think I will stay with Xemnas tonight.”

“Oh? Okay! I’m happy you allow this to you!”

Isa caressed Demyx’s hair with a light smile. His little brother thought he was forcing himself to come back because he was worry for him…

All he wanted was to come back, not to have to stay in Xemnas’ arms when he’d have done what it was expected from him… But he was too afraid. Too afraid of what Xemnas could do if he didn’t yield to his envy. And the worst? He didn’t know what his Ringmaster could make him pass through. Perhaps it was the reason he was so afraid?

Sometimes, he thought… they just should run away with Demyx. They could, in the mid of the night, the Moon being the only one to guard them. He could.

But for what?

And… Demyx seemed to be happy here.

He didn’t know how to react anymore. Just comply. Continue until the thin string of his conscience would break.

Isa kissed his forehead with softness.

“I’ll get ready for the training,” he said.

“I’ll come with you!”

“Very well.”

“And don’t forget to eat!” Demyx smiled.

“Yes.”

“You need strength to show them how much you’re awesome!”

The man forced a gentle smile for him and went out of the bed, readying himself to face the whole day…

Wearing a short and a tank, his hairs tied in a ponytail, Isa arrived with Demyx in the Big Top because it was where they always trained. They were already a lot, some warming them up, others just chatting. They were all ready for training.

Isa noticed Lea and he slightly nodded to him while the man waved his hand to him.

“Saïx.”

Isa turned his head to Xemnas. This one approached him and grabbed his chin before kissing his lips.

“Greetings, Xemnas,” Isa whispered.

“Hello, boss!” Demyx added.

“Hello my favorite moon!”

Braig quickly came to them to press a kiss on Isa’s cheek. Lea could recognize the guy Isa did acrobatics with yesterday. The one who actually saved his life…

“Perfect,” Xemnas said as he passed his arm around Isa’s waist and his hand landing on his hips. “We have a new recruit.” With his other hand, he showed Lea. “Please, show us what you can do so we can move forward.”

“Yup, Sir!”

Since he had talked about fire, a bit of materials have been brought here and as other where still chatting and warming up, Lea moved forward to a jerrycan filled with fuel and different stick. He quickly set fire in one and put some fuel in his mouth. The second after, he spat out the liquid on the flames and as soon it was out of his lips, hitting the fire, this one transformed immediately in a big snake.

Demyx let out a tiny scream of excitation. Braig immediately let applause swirl in the tent, followed soon by other.

Xemnas wasn’t stupid and knew it wasn’t just pyrokinesis…

He wasn’t stupid at all and could guess Lea just wanted all the chances to be a part of this Circus… It would be stupid, indeed, to refuse something like that among his spectacles.

The firesnake swirled under the Big Top and no flames brushed the slightest part of fabric or wound. It came down, next to the Artists, turning around them before spreading beautiful wings and rising to the very top where it exploded in a rain of stars.

“What a poser!” Braig smiled.

“That’s so beautiful!!” Demyx said.

“It is interesting,” a man with long blond hair commented next to them.

“Yes,” Xemnas replied. “It’s indeed, something we could use.”

Braig grabbed Isa’s hand and make him move back before bringing him in the part where the others warmed up.

“I can’t let you be a part of the spectacle before I’m sure you can have a correct spectacle, obviously. But we will work on this. Zexion!”

The young man, busy to talk with a blond one with a few piercing, turned his head toward them, the long lock hiding one of his blue eyes. Lea wondered if he was only able to see with that… He jumped on the floor and walked toward the new member of their Circus.

“Zexion, may I introduce you…” Xemnas watched Lea from his flamboyant hair to his toe hide in good sport shoes. “Axel.”

Lea could hear Isa saying ‘He adds an X in the things he owns’ at this exact moment.

He went from another Circus so having an Artist Name wasn’t that surprising but he did know that his one was different. Because, for example, Isa had been introduced as ‘Lunar Diviner’ and you could tell _this_ was the Artist Name.

Isa was probably lying to himself because… Because it was easier to accept everything.

“Zexion, I expect you to help him to have a place here and to think with him about a spectacle. If I like it, you will be scheduled, Axel.”

“Very well,” Lea smiled.

He watched as Xemnas turned and walked to Isa.

“As for you, we’ll make your spectacle less dangerous. Come with me.”

“As you wish,” Isa replied.

At the second Xemnas showed a clean pair of heels, Braig spread out his arms from each part of Isa’s shoulder, giving him the finger in a total treachery.

“Isn’t it good?” Demyx wondered, looking genuinely afraid for his brother.

“Axel?”

Lea turned his head toward Zexion.

“Isn’t it dangerous?” he asked, showing Isa. “He didn’t have warmed up.”

“He warms up in his trailer, in general. Now, come. We’ll see what we can do with your… talent,” he smirked. “And I’ll tell you what you have to know.”

“Thank you,” Lea said as he followed him, putting down what he didn’t need where he took it. “You can call me Lea!”

“Oh… You can call me Ienzo,” he said back.

As the tribunes had been pushed off and the curtains leading to the ‘employee tent’ pushing out, the Big Top was even bigger and it was easy for everybody to train. Those who didn’t need the actual materials for the training used the other tent. The neat had also been spread over the Big Top and Lea felt stupidly relieved.

“You will have to help for the spectacles incoming because you can’t stay here and receive food and a home while doing nothing,” Ienzo explained. “More you’ll do, more advantage you’ll have. The more your spectacle is good and the more the public loves you, the better your act is placed. You’ll certainly start at the beginning once your spectacle will be decided. You can choose three or four examples and we’ll work on it. You will show it to Xemnas and one day, he’ll let you be a part of the spectacle.”

“Neat! This shouldn’t be too hard,” Lea smiled.

They walked in the second tent and Ienzo looked for a place that could easily let them work. Especially because Lea using fire…

“You know what? We’ll go next to the lake! That’s the best thing to do, think a bit more about what you want to do for your spectacle?”

“’Kay! But tell me! What are you doing?”

“I’m helping organizing, mostly, with my father, Even. He’s doing an act where he uses chemistry to create beautiful and impressing playful science. And I’m Magician with Ludor. For the public, I’m just his assistant.”

“Why?”

“A magician never delivers his secrets,” Ienzo smiled, mutinous.

Lea couldn’t help but smile when he heard those words. He was very curious but he did understand.

He followed him through the trailers, thinking about the spectacle he could possibly do. He had numerous ideas to be fair. He could take back his hold number in Radiant Garden Circus? He could create a new one. He could play on flowers, animals or others forms. But he could also team up with someone. He could…

“Do you think I can do something with someone being a baby?”

“Depends of who and what?”

“I thought about Isa and…”

“No,” Ienzo said, firm.

“No?”

“You can’t do something with the favorite when you’re new,” the young man explained.

“Honestly, I could have guess that. But I thought that could have make him smile!”

Ienzo stopped in his tracks, next to a trailer, not far away from a couple of zebra lazily eating. Lea imitated him and he could read a lot of emotions on his mentor’s face and then he saw Ienzo smirk as he folded his arms.

“Just in case you hadn’t noticed it, Isa isn’t only the favorite of the public but of our boss too.”

“What are you saying? Maybe I want to become friend with him?”

“Obviously. But I also can tell were people’s interest is. That’s my job. And I can tell you’re showing interest into him.”

“As friend.”

“Of course,” Ienzo smirked.

“’Kay! Then, Kairi! She deserves to be somewhere than in a tank, exposed as if she was just a pretty fish!”

The young man started to walk once again, shaking slightly his head.

“I wouldn’t count on this. It’s nice to have a big Heart but you won’t change things just because you wish it. Kairi is in that Tank because some people don’t like the Circus but want to see strange things. And I don’t think she’s able to do things interesting enough once she’s out of her tank.”

Lea gulped with a slight anger. Kairi seemed to be used to her condition but not happy at all…

“We always stay on place for one month or sometimes more, the numbers change every day. We need people to come back. Some day, we have up to four representations. You must be ready to vary your numbers though you can certainly stop at one at the beginning. But as I said to you, the more you’ll get the attention, the better it is for you.”

“Yeah. I’ll think about stuff…”

“You already have been a Circus Artist and you seem to know what you’re doing so I bet you can be scheduled pretty soon. But first…” Ienzo turned in front of him and smiled. “You need to impress me, and that’s difficult.”

“So you’ll see! I’m good to impress people!”

“Xemnas, excuse me?”

The man turned his head as the curtains opened.

“I’m not disturbing you, isn’t it?”

“It’ll be alright,” he replied. “Saïx,” he added toward this one.

His fingers passed along his throat with tenderness and he moved away, coming outside of the little booth. As soon as the curtains closed, Isa let the gravity drag his weight toward the floor and his butt hit the stool in front of a mirror. Just at his right, his outfit was hang, kindly, waiting for the correct moment.

Isa pressed his face in his hands, whispering for himself.

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pursue like that.

If he tried to talk with Xemnas, maybe he’ll understand, letting him leave? But he doubted… He doubted so much about it…

He didn’t know how he would do it tonight.

He heard a knock against the wood of his booth then the curtains opened.

“I’m changing here, don’t mind me!” Braig said as he undressed.

Having a booth was quite rare, most of them changing in their trailer or in the back of the preparing tent. Braig was popular enough to have his own booth but he almost never used it, coming here as often as possible.

He was sliding up his leotard when he noticed Isa had said nothing and he turned his head toward him.

“Something’s wrong, honey?”

“I don’t want to go…”

Braig lift up his zipper and approached him, crouching in front of him. “If you don’t want to, don’t go.”

“I have to…”

“Come on, we’re placing another number in place of your and it’s gonna be okay! The coot won’t annoy you if you don’t wanna go!”

Isa watched him, realizing they weren’t talking about the same thing there. And he didn’t know how he’ll tell him what was the real thing simmering in his guts. Braig was his best friend but if his brother didn’t see what was wrong, he didn’t hope a lot from him.

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” he said. “I will prepare myself… Once you’ll leave my booth.”

“Sure!”

Braig kissed his cheek and quickly finished to get himself ready. He tied his black and silver hairs in a ponytail and slid armband and legband in matching purple colors on his body then bent to kiss Isa’s forehead before walking backward and coming out of the booth. Isa got up to close a bit more the curtains then he changed himself, putting on his leotard, the mittens and combing his hairs so he could tie them in a bun. He made sure that he looked perfect and came out of the booth. The spectacle will soon start and you really could sense it because everybody was getting ready.

“Isa! Isa?!”

He turned his head toward the teenager running toward him. She had short black hairs and was wearing a black leotard with long legs and sleeves. Stars were sparkled all over the fabric.

“Can you help me?”

She turned and showed the zipper almost up but not totally. Without a word, Isa slid it up.

“Thank youuuu!”

She kissed his cheek after having jumped to reach it and then left, running to the other side of the tent. Isa looked around, searching the silvered mane. He didn’t see it and felt relieved though he knew the moment would arrive anyway. Xemnas was the Ringmaster, the Show will start because he was there and nothing else…

He walked toward the large red curtains closing the backstage to the crowd and slid in his fingers to spread them, glancing inside. There were so many people. Thousands of people waiting to see what they wished for. He never paid attention to their public so he didn’t know if that was only new people or not. He knew some, really rich, could come every day. Xemnas certainly knew those…

“Hey!”

Isa didn’t react, looking the ring, watching the huge poles almost touching the top of the tent.

“Are you okay?”

Isa turned his head and noticed Lea.

“Of course,” he replied. “You’re not getting yourself ready?”

“Me? I’m not scheduled.”

“This look like an error.”

“You think? Ienzo asked Xemnas and…”

Lea stopped talking when he saw the look of Isa, his arms crossed.

“Yes?”

“You’ve been in a Circus before, isn’t it? You’ve impressive skills. It’s an error not scheduling you.”

Lea shrugged. For him, being scheduled today or another day was the same. But Isa didn’t seem to think the same. Honestly, Lea knew he was a good artist and that his fire performance would please people but after, it was just in the hand of his Ringmaster. As long as he could make smile people, he was happy. After all, in his previous Circus, conditions were horrible and, often, he had the feeling he was nothing more than an object for his boss. So, as long as he hadn’t to deal with bad conditions, he will follower the directives gave to him…

“Come with me,” Isa said.

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

Isa took his wrist and pushed him to follow him. They walked through the changing area and then the booths. Isa opened his, pushing Lea inside it. He raised his finger, telling him in silent to not move. He walked back and went to the place where they had so many outfits. He quickly watched them, passing through the different clothes.

“What are you doing?”

Isa glanced down to one of the three pair of twins they’ve here: Sora. He was already in his outfit created with a turtle-neck sleeveless and a short along with high boots. And he seemed really perturbed.

It was pretty rare to see Isa here, it was true.

“You’re ready?” he asked to him.

“Uh… Yes?” Sora smiled back.

“Perfect,” Isa replied.

And without further more explanation, he walked back to his booth. He installed the clothes in the little table in front of the mirror.

“Undress yourself,” Isa commanded.

He pushed the clothes to search after the make up. He used it mostly to hide his dark circles. Sleeping was difficult.

He turned his head to Lea and pressed his palm in front of his eyes. “Not completely, you idiot!”

“Sorry!” Lea said. “It’s good!”

Isa sighed and grabbed clothes to see if they’ll fit Lea.

“You’re taller than I thought…”

He lifted down a top and glanced at him to see his right morphology but… stopped there, as Lea waited without a word and a slight uneasiness. Which would have been ironic since he just totally undressed in front of him, if Isa didn’t have noticed old traces attesting burn here and there. Mostly on his chest but there was also on the thighs and he could suppose… on the back.

Lea felt the silence becoming so heavy and he pointed out his finger toward a tights. “What about those?”

Isa turned his head. “I don’t think so…” He grabbed another clothes. “You could have talked about that.”

“I could. But why would I? It’s old stuff! I preferred to have you happy!”

“Why?” Isa asked.

“I guess I love to make people happy? I guess… I didn’t want you to…”

“Listen… If you’re just seeing more fun in ‘making me smile’ because it’s a challenge or anything else, quit.”

Lea frowned.

“You believe that?”

Isa pressed the Bermuda shorts against the new recruit’s chest so the man could put it on.

“Believe what?” he asked.

“That you’re a toy or something?” Lea asked.

Isa frowned. Lea was definitely too tall because he seemed to have put on a short.

“What do you think I am?” he asked, turning to search a top.

Lea grabbed his wrist, making him swirl toward him.

“A Human being.”

The Fire Performer was stabbed by the intensity of the look Isa had. He wasn’t just bitter because of the situation. You could tell, just by watching his face, that he really truly believed he was nothing. Just a toy. A Trophy in the hands of Xemnas. An act.

“I want to make you smile because I think no one should be sad. I want to make you smile, make you happy, because the life you’re living… no one deserves it. You deserve happiness. If people make you think something else, they’re wrong.”

Isa shook his head and moved away, looking through the tops.

“Isa…”

“You’re new here and you’ve no idea what you’re talking about. You talk as if you had left the Hell and found Heaven.” Isa grabbed three different tops and turned to him. “That’s just a regular place, with defaults. Xemnas is just a man,” he added in a whisper, not wanting people to hear that around.

“He’s just a…”

Isa pressed his hand over Lea’s mouth.

“I don’t know… I don’t think you can know what’s happening here. But thank you for your consideration.”

Lea knew it was stupid. Lea knew Ienzo told him not to do it and that he had zero chances but…

“I’d like to do an art with you.”

Isa stared him.

“Why?”

“Yesterday, when fire danced around you, you seemed happy… I want to make you happy.”

Isa turned toward the desk and took a top. Lea put it on. Tied around his neck but letting his back appear, and spreading over his chest, though it couldn’t reach the lowest part and showed Lea’s navel, you could also saw a really slight transparency and it showed Suns all over his skin.

“I don’t know if you want to hide your scars,” Isa said as he took something in the desk.

His fingers came around Lea’s chin, making him stay on place and he started to draw something on his cheeks.

“My previous boss said it was giving me a style.”

“A style?”

“That showed I had worked very hard to tame the fire, he said…”

“He burnt you on purpose for that?”

Lea shook his head. “When I was younger, I was afraid of fire… I always used my power without wanting it and…” He looked down. “That didn’t end well most of the time.” He was smiling when he looked up at him. “At least, he helped me to control my power! I’m not afraid of this anymore!”

Isa put down the pencil he was using and walked toward the curtains.

“I’ll see to schedule you at the end of the spectacle, it would be easier to prepare yourself.” His hand close on the side of the booth. “I’ll ask to do an art with you. I believe this could be something great for the public.”

“Thank you!”

Lea smiled and glanced at the mirror when the curtains closed after Isa. On his face, there were two upside down tears. Purple. He never thought about this color but… he liked it…


	4. Butterflies

The spectacle will start. In one or two minutes. It already should have started… Xemnas should be on the ring, spreading his arms and throwing dreams to a crowd asking only more… One or two minutes, that what was he could allow him before he had to do his work. Because he couldn’t push back the whole spectacle.

That would look bad for the public…

Xemnas grabbed Demyx by the shoulder.

“Where is Saïx?” he asked.

“He’s…” Demyx looked in the tent, hiding the pain coming in his shoulder. He moved his finger. “There!”

Xemnas let got on him and walked toward Isa. Which walked toward him, looking like nothing was wrong.

“Where were you?”

“Helping the others to prepare. I said to Lea he could be at the end of the spectacle.”

“What did you do?!” Xemnas asked with a cold anger.

“His performance will impress them and this will bring you an end of spectacle more exciting. The public will leave thrilled. They’ll talk about him.”

“They already talk about you.”

“My art lost in vigor,” he replied, watching him in the eye.

“Only because you tried to kill yourself,” Xemnas said at his ear. “You wouldn’t lose your privilege if you weren’t trying to fool me,” he added, his arms coming around his waist to press him against his chest.

“He asked to do an art with me and I think this is the best idea to ally my new conditions and impressing elements.”

Xemnas let go on him.

“I see…”

He turned around and walked toward the curtains he pushed. He continued to move to the center of the ring, hearing the applause raise as he installed himself.

“Ladies and Gents, this is the moment you’ve wait for…” Xemnas said. “They’re coming just to amaze your eyes… The Savage Nymph and her Graceful Assassin!”

At this moment, the curtains moved, letting appear a lady wearing a black leotard with long sleeve but no legs. Every time the lights danced over her, it seemed a lightning passed on her cloth while the man at her right, having long pink her, had a long pants, really tight against his skin and a top remaining those things you’d see as ‘Chinese dress’.

A wooden wheel rolled in the room.

“Don’t close the eyes or you’d miss the moments. Try to control your fear because you wouldn’t take the risk to make our artist lost…”

The wheel stopped when the pink haired man stopped it, climbing in the two little wooden step.

“… her control!” Xemnas said.

The lady grabbed a bunch of knives that were hidden in the other side of the wheel.

Xemnas moved back, letting the spectacle follow its normal direction. Larxene, Elrena, was a really talented Knife Thrower and she would never miss her target when she was concentrated. Soon, the wheel will start to turn and the crowd will scream of terror but Marluxia, Lauriam, risked nothing.

When Xemnas walked outside of the ring, coming back to the backstage, it was only to find Lea being impressed. Like everyone else, you could tell he was expecting the man to throw the knives.

Like everyone else.

But what annoyed Xemnas was how much he was close of Isa. So he grabbed his favorite performer, so favorite being, and forced him to move away from Lea. He grabbed him by the chin and kissed him. Everything in his attitude said ‘you’re mine’ and how could he only forget it?

His arms crossed, Braig was looking the ring, his best friend rolling from the fabric he used for his act. From maybe three meters from the floor? In theory, it was a lot, but not for them. They were used to be so high, used to steal their public’s breath and this… this looked like a newbie doing some warm up.

And Braig new the part of the spectacle where they were together was cut from the spectacle.

“You’re doing a mistake, Xemnas. He did one error and added one accident but you’re ruining your spectacle. You’re the only one who gets excited just by seeing him!” he said.

Xemnas turned his head toward him.

“You know as much as me that it wasn’t an accident.”

“If he wants to kill himself, he doesn’t need to do it in your stupid spectacle. He doesn’t need to be higher than three meters! Don’t ruin your spectacle and don’t make him hate you even more. He loves doing acrobatics. If you take that away from him…”

“You think I won’t punish him for what he did?” Xemnas replied. “Next time, he will be more concentrate.” He moved his hand toward Isa. “As for the spectacle… he doesn’t need much more to interest them.”

It was less breathtaking than the acrobatics he could do but it was still peculiar to see someone dance in the sky with only ribbons as friends.

Maybe for _them_ it was nothing because they always were used to see more but this… this was beautiful and it wasn’t only because he loved Saïx so much.

Braig wanted to repeat to him he was doing a mistake but what could he say to his Ringmaster? A big part of the crowd looked astonished by the performance even if it wasn’t what Braig expected… from him. What he wanted for him. He watched as his best friend moved in the fabric, between the two fabrics, a silent ballet only animated by the excitation of the public.

Xemnas walked to the ring and rose one hand.

“Taking your breath, stealing your mind once again, Saïx the Lunar Diviner!”

Isa glare at him, noticed he was under the ribbons and he rolled until those arms could catch him.

Xemnas laid him on the floor.

“Look up,” he said.

The crowd did and at this moment, coming from nowhere Braig jumped in the air. Screams of surprise reverberated inside the tent, Isa swirled on himself to see his friend as he caught himself by the feet thank to a trapeze and Xemnas shoved him toward the backstage, looking as gentle as he could when his strength had been astonishing. He knew what he was doing because Braig arrived at their level when the trapeze moved down. Braig would have given to Isa what he thought he deserved. But Xemnas was still the Master here…

As soon as they passed the curtains of the backstage, Demyx ran toward Isa who hugged him.

“You were great, of course!” he said.

“Thank you,” Isa replied thought he didn’t think this.

It was boring.

It had been bored…

He watched Braig, flying in the air, and pressed his cheek against his little brother’s temple, rubbing softly his back…

The spectacle was one hour and half long. A lot of artists had the opportunity to stretch themselves or even warm up again if they have many representations. But today was a sole representation though tomorrow they would be three.

There, the spectacle was almost over and the interest of the public seemed to diminish. What the artists could do was awesome but less breathtaking. Only because the interest was lost anyway.

And when the Big Top was casted in the Dark, that could only help them. You could hear the sound of people getting ready to leave.

“Ladies and Gents, stay where you are. Your Darkness is about to be Lighten!”

At the moment Xemnas said those words, two balls of flame appeared. They started to swirl and sparks jumped all around, lightened Lea and a big smile.

“Coming from far away, discover the new member of our big Family! The Flurry of Dancing Flames! Axel!”

Lea blew on a flame and a million of butterflies suddenly flew away.

From the backstage, most of the artists were watching because he was knew, because they didn’t knew anything about this man. Ienzo wasn’t impressed, having training with him, but others were letting out surprised sound. They never had Fire Performer here…

Xemnas watched Isa, next to him. He was still in his artist’s outfit because he had wanted to stay and observe the spectacle. Unusual. But he also saw him smile… He was smiling. His cold and unreachable treasure was smiling while looking those butterflies…

He was smiling…

The door of the trailer opened and then closed a few seconds after. It was already dark outside, the Moon was dancing among the stars and the wind was colder. The dinner was over since a moment and it was rare to still hear the sound of the showers…

When the door closed, it drowned the sound of the slap that threw Isa against the metal. He hiccupped and almost lost his breath when a hand closed around his neck.

“What game are you playing, Saïx?”

Isa tried to make Xemnas let go on him, his body rising at few centimeters of the floor.

He couldn’t breathe anymore.

His finger stopped to dug, letting him do. If it could just… be over…

The floor welcomed him when Xemnas threw him away.

“What game are you playing, Saïx?!”

“I’m playing no game, Xemnas… I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

The Ringmaster walked toward him, his feet coming on Isa’s so he couldn’t move, just look at him.

“You’re liking that New recruit, isn’t it? Should I remind you, you’re mine. Just mine. What would you do without me? What Demyx would do if you had to take care of him. Outside. In the streets…”

Isa looked away.

When he was younger, Xemnas used to tell him what he could do if he tried to run away. He was pretty, Ladies and Gentlemen loved that…

Xemnas didn’t have to tell it to him anymore.

It was the constant fear he had. The reason why he didn’t dare to talk back. The reason why he was staying tonight because he was afraid that Xemnas would force him to ‘love’ him more by showing him there were worst. One of two year before, he told him how much people could pay for a bit of time with him. Somewhere, he hoped. Hoped that Xemnas will never yield to _this_ because he saw him as his trophy, didn’t want to share him so he wouldn’t…

And yet, he was afraid.

So he complied.

Sometimes, when he was away from him, it was like… like he couldn’t put the correct words on what he was forced to live. It was like _he_ was the problem, refusing to stay with a man who could do anything for him and who had a correct situation, giving him anything he wanted.

Sometimes, he thought he was the one unable to love him as he should…

Everybody seemed to find them so pretty together.

Maybe he was the problem?

But there… there with this thread for… for what? He didn’t even know what he did wrong? Liking Lea? He had talked with him. He appreciated him, yes, but that was all…

“Please…” he muttered.

“Please what?”

“I have no interest for him.”

“You’re telling me what I want to hear.”

Isa shook his head.

“Why were you waiting for his art? Why were you smiling? Why did you decide he will be a part of the spectacle?”

“For you!! For your spectacle to be better! I was right! I stayed to see if I was right, and I was!”

“Don’t talk back to me, Saïx.”

Xemnas removed his feet and knelt next to him. Though Isa could have moved, he didn’t, like paralyzed by those eyes. A little voice in his ear told him ‘jealousy is normal. He just doesn’t want to share you, be less obvious.’ And he wanted to listen to it.

But…

But he couldn’t?

He couldn’t right?

He should?

He felt Xemnas caressing softly his cheek. Maybe he should because Xemnas was just worry… Worry to lose him… wasn’t it romantic?

Isa was confused…

Elrena said it was extremely romantic to have a man able to do anything for you, to keep you. it was what Xemnas was doing…

Maybe… Maybe…

“I don’t want to lose you.”

Certainly…

“I have no feelings for him. I did it for the spectacle… He’s kind but I have no feelings for him…”

Xemnas kissed him.

“Don’t make me sad, please.”

Isa shook his head, whispering ‘I won’t’.

“B… But… I thought… I could do an art with him. It would be impressive… the public like him.”

Xemnas watched him. He didn’t like the idea to let Isa be with someone making him smile that easily. Braig could make him happy, but not that much, not that easily… and he knew Braig since so long, when he had let him approach his lover, it was after a time.

However… He wasn’t afraid that Isa would run away with this Fire Performer. He was too afraid of what laying outside of the Circus…

And if he accepted, he could keep the spectacle at mid-air. The risk would be less high. The chances to keep him alive better.

“Very well. You can prepare a spectacle with him,” he said, pressing a kiss on his lips then on his throat, laying a myriad of them.

Isa didn’t move and he wanted to cry. But… but this was wrong… If he was his lover. Shouldn’t he love?

Was _he_ a terrible lover?


	5. Exercice of Trust

Knocks against the metal made yawn Lea in his bed.

What was that?

He rolled in the bed and took the pillow to press it against his face. He knew it was still pretty early and didn’t have to train before a moment. What time was it exactly, by the way?

Lea glanced at the clock on the night stand behind him.

Wait?

What?!

“Lea! Come join me in ten minutes under the Big Top,” a voice came out.

Firm and full of authority.

You couldn’t exactly say ‘no’ to it and _he_ didn’t want to say no but it was six am! SIX AM!

He was mad?!

Lea groaned and pressed again the pillow over his face. He couldn’t remember a thing. When the representation started? What should he do? Damn, it was almost hard to remember his name at this exact moment.

He rubbed his face and forced himself to get ready.

The voice had said ten minutes but fifteen had already passed when he arrived under the big top, yawning and scratching his belly, his hairs in a mess and his ideas unclear.

“You’re late,” he heard.

“Yeah…”

“Did you have stretched yourself?”

“No…”

“Then do it. Warm yourself. I leave you five more minutes.”

“It’s six am…”

“I know. However, if you want to do an art with me…”

“What?!” Lea cut short.

His head snapped to see Isa who was wearing a light blue top adorned of very thin strap and a black short really tiny but holding the said top in place. He had white wristbands with shining Moons and also mittens for feet. They were very tights and it was easy to know it was easier for him to work that way. His hairs had been tied in the back with just two locks and a tiny hairpin, giving him a feeling… wild, feral, untamable?

“We’ll do an art together. I asked Xemnas and he said yes. Stretch yourself and run,” he added, firm.

“Yes. But…” Lea sat on the floor to start on the floor to stretch and noticed that everything was already set around. Or almost everything? He saw no net… “… you’re sure we can?”

“Yes…”

Isa pressed his hand over his throat and moved to the side, toward the mechanisms. They were more accessible since the backstage tent was just open to them.

“I don’t think we can present an art together before two or three weeks at least but I expect us to do it as soon as possible.”

“Okay. And what about the other guy? Xigbar?”

“Braig. I don’t know.”

“And your ribbons? I can’t use fire around your ribbons. Just to be sure,” Lea pointed out, still stretching his limbs.

Isa turned his head toward him, from the board of the device, since he had brought down every kind of tool they could use.

“Obviously…”

Lea watched the Big Top. Isa hadn’t placed ribbons and it wasn’t surprising at all. He wasn’t neither surprised that the man knew his work better than him. While being a Fire Performer was something, he just had to learn how to use sticks or other objects… the rest was only magic.

“The first day, your friend appeared from nowhere, catching you…”

“Yes. That was the normal part of the art. Yesterday wasn’t really impressive however, Xemnas wanted to punish me,” Isa stated. “And now, if I’m doing an art with you, Braig will certainly change his. Or it will depend of the days… However, I believe Xemnas see this as an opportunity. He finds it cleaner when he can actually announce the arrival and the exit of every of us.”

“Yes, but the day before yesterday… It was so much exciting.”

“I believe this too…”

He walked back to Lea, watching him, standing just next to him.

The new recruit looked up at him and took the hand held out to him. Isa immediately let go on him but started to jog and he just followed him, accepting this warm up. Accepting this company.

“I’m sorry you can’t…”

“It’s not your fault,” Isa replied.

It was his and only his.

He couldn’t blame anyone but him… Xemnas said it was in right to punish him and he was certainly right. He couldn’t remember if he really wanted to kill himself at that moment or it was just the fever of feeling good for once… Later that night, he did wanted to kill him so…

“You’re okay?”

“Yes,” Isa said. “I was just thinking.”

“Yeah… But… I just noticed… your skin?”

Isa looked down to his thighs pointed out by Lea and then he let his own look slid over his arms also sparkled with blue marks. It looked like a constellation, it matched with his hairs dancing in his back and yet… those were just horror. The worst was the fact those marks didn’t annoy him that much. He was more annoyed by the hickeys on his throat…

“That’s nothing. I trained too hard.”

Lea frowned. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

Lea stayed silent after this and even the warm up was suddenly and ironically… cold.

They ran five times around the ring then slow down to finally stop. Lea crouched and put his head between his own thighs, resisting with difficulty to say anything about the difficulty of this warm up.

Suddenly, he really struggled to talk to him…

He wanted to make him smile, wanted to see him shine but each time he looked him, he saw the bruises on his skin and he knew what it was to say to someone you have just got a tough work when it wasn’t that at all…

“Do you have any idea for our art?” Isa asked.

Lea folded his arms, thinking. As the other man walked to the ladder on the side of the huge mat, he moved toward the tribune. It was already six am and half, almost forty to be honest and it was very late for him. Forty minutes to start training? Way too long. He jumped on the stand at a few meter from the floor and took a trapeze. He could tell Lea was thinking, at least. He hopped it was about the art but he was definitely thinking. To be fair, he had several ideas. But he wouldn’t want to impose and invade. He could when it came of the training itself because it asked rigor to do what he did but after… He just wanted to vacuum his head with the feeling to fly.

He moved backward so he took on speed before throwing himself in the air, his hands firmly clamped around the wooden bar. The feeling was delicious, as always. It was so peculiar, a sensation nothing could brush. Not even receiving a surprise hug from Demyx. Coming forward, being pushed backward with a force he couldn’t control and yet was friendly… No wonder why he wished he could fly forever…

In his tribune, Lea hit his fist in his palm. He climbed the level.

“Isa?”

The man glanced at him. Lea followed the pendulum movement as he saw the force pushing him backward and almost gasped when he saw Isa letting go on the stick, being threw right toward the higher part of the Big Top with the strength. The trapeze moved away and Lea’s Heart missed a beat as he saw the body coming back, head toward the floor. He had missed the trapeze!

The long and firm legs bend and closed around the wooden stick as the trapeze kept moving forward.

Lea blinked when, suddenly, they were face to face, him without a word in the tribunes, Isa mocking the gravity…

“Yes?”

The new recruit was unable to reply at this exact moment, his eyes being wide and his breath taking away.

Taking your breath, stealing your mind, the Lunar Diviner was able to throw your Heart and making him fly with the Stars.

“Lea?”

Isa’s hand moved in front of his eyes. He was still on his trapeze, flying, though he was sat on it now.

“Can you come down?!” Lea called, his mind following him in this journey, letting him aghast.

The second after, he saw Isa grabbing the trapeze with his hand. He let his weight move down and holding with hand, one leg flexed, he followed the air, letting go on the stick at the moment his toes brushed the bench of the tribune.

“Woah…” Lea muttered. “You’re good!”

“Thank you,” Isa replied with a slight smile.

Lea saw him happy there and it has no price. Absolutely no price. He could understand why people would pay again and again to see someone just throwing star at them, just showing them what was passion, following a dream, living like it was the last moment…

“So… Your idea?”

“Yes! What is your favorite animal?”

Isa watched him with surprise and folded his arms. “Wolf and rabbit, why?”

“I thought…” Lea jumped above the benches and quickly walked down to come in the ring, approaching the trapeze and the hoop. “You came down and I would blow a wolf of flame. The wolf became flame around the hoop, or the trapeze I don’t know what’s the best, and… I don’t know much more. Do you have idea?” he asked with a smirk. “Ah! It will really not burn you, I swear.”

“I trust you,” Isa said, walking toward him. He frowned and watched the tools. “At what distance do you want me to be.”

“Well…”

Lea looked, too, the tools. He moved backward and flames came from his lips. They immediately turned toward a wolf you could almost hear howling.

“There?” Lea said with a smile.

“Very well,” the man replied.

He couldn’t help but smile when the wolf literally landed next to him and walked around him, like a real wolf. Isa approached his fingers without fear and he didn’t feel the burn.

“You have a beautiful power,” Isa told to him. “I hope you won’t fear it again,” he added, watching him right in the eyes.

“I’ll do my best,” Lea replied.

Isa turned and walked to the mechanisms so he could lift the hoop until his partner told him to stop.

“And now? How do you get there?”

Isa glanced at him, casting him a smirk. He walked to the huge pylon and climbed at the ladder, once again. He approached the edge of the stall and jumped. Lea thought he’ll catch the hoop from there and blinked but he saw him grabbing a trapeze pretty high in comparison, trapeze that swirling with the strength, approaching him from another one, lower. This time, Lea wasn’t surprise when he saw him jump to catch the bar.

“Get yourself ready!” Lea warned.

Isa raised his thumb as a sign and threw himself in the air. When he came down, his ankles grabbed the metal. Lea watched him but was still able to see the acrobat grab the hoop and let go on the previous support. He saw him sat on the hook on the circle and, after one second, just to be sure, blew a new Wolf. The beast immediately flew toward Isa, toward the ring, and his fluffy flaming head seemed to rub against Isa as his paws were merging in the hoop, surrounding it.

Lea couldn’t help but stare the artist with the soft orange caressing his skin and a slight smile on his lips. The reason disappeared for him and he created a little bunny with his flames, bringing it on Isa’s lap.

“Is this a part of the spectacle?”

“I think… it’s not,” Lea smiled.

“However, did you like how it looked?”

“It was nice but I think it missed something…”

“I was unsure,” Isa replied. “I have to be sure what my spectacle will be to arrange perfectly this part,” he said.

He put down his hands in each part of the circle and let his body come as low as he could. He was still as three meters from the floor but just let go. Lea wanted to grab him but he saw him roll on the floor and get up. He was trained for that…

And he felt really dumb…

“After the representations of today, I should know a bit more…”

“Sure!” Lea replied with a smirk. He rubbed his skull, still feeling so dumb. “It looks so nice! Can I try?”

Isa frowned.

“Try the trapeze or the hoop? Or anything…”

“Oh… Hm… Very well. I’ll bring down one of the trapeze, sit on it, hold it tight and don’t move. I have to install the net.”

“The net…”

Lea turned his head toward him but the acrobat had already moved away. He could see the different tool moving, coming at various high. One of them, pretty large come really low. He could actually _just_ sit on it… seeing Isa coming back with a cord he waited anyway. The acrobat seemed very severe again.

He saw him tie a long rope at the edge of the trapeze then looked toward Lea.

“You can sit on it,” he invited.

Lea didn’t wait more and Isa adjusted a bit his position before giving him the rope.

“Keep that, please. I’ll lift you. Hold very tight.”

“Yes!”

Isa moved away.

Lea was more and more thrilled. He never did that, always seeing the other artists doing that as birds unreachable.

When the trapeze moved, he did his best to stay on place and glanced at Isa, watching him lift the rope then coming install the net. You could tell he was used to this because he had movements fast and yet expert and sure. He still watched him as he moved to the ladder, once again.

Watched him again as he approached the edge of the stall and crouched.

“Throw me the rope, please.”

Lea grabbed it and watched the distance between them. He took it anyway and threw it as far as he could. Isa extended his body to grab it but the cord didn’t even brush his fingers. The new recruit couldn’t help but made a face.

“Sorry?”

“It’s not a problem. Please, still hold tight. It’ll move.”

Move?

The second after, he saw Isa move back then ran and launch himself. He grabbed the rope at mid length, making shake the whole structure. Lea had to hold very strongly and he gasped when he saw him start to climb the rope as if it was absolutely nothing…

“Well… Hello?” he said, blinking, when Isa arrived lifted himself next to him on the long bar.

This trapeze was made for two and you could sense it just now because, though they were next to each other, it wasn’t even disturbing. He watched as Isa took off the rope, throwing it near the net and then… got up to help the trapeze to move. This time, the movement was normal.

Very common.

He was still hallucinating but he was also… kind off relieved?

“That’s just a big swing!”

“A bit,” Isa replied, making work his legs for the trapeze to move faster and faster. “What did you want to try?”

“Oh… Oh! More? More!”

Lea was excited like a child and Isa’s heart felt softer. He saw he was like a child in front of a shop full of candies. Unable to just choose what was the most interesting one.

“Can I… change of trapeze?”

“Yes.”

“I got up like you?” Lea asked, still holding the chain on the side and the bar next to him.

“Stay like that. When we’ll approach the trapeze, I’ll grab it for you and held it in place. You’ll catch it and just slightly raise up.”

“Okay!”

Lea was even more excited. He couldn’t wait for it. And yet he had to because it wasn’t that easy to arrive at the trapeze. Maybe thirty seconds? One minute?

As soon as they were close enough, Isa let go on the chain on the side and grabbed the trapeze, bringing it to Lea. Which held out his hands to catch it. His fingers brushed it but… he couldn’t grab it on time. Isa had to let go on the bar and his ankles moved as they were the only things to keep him on place. He swirled and grabbed the trapeze where they were, his fingers brushing Lea’s one and he got up again.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry.”

Isa caught the trapeze and, using his feet, he forced the tool to stay on place longer. As soon as he saw Lea grabbing it, he let go, letting his body fall on the net. He just swirled one time to see Lea as he crossed the air, screaming his joy, holding the trapeze very tightly.

Isa laugh softly, too.

See someone having fun like that was a relieve… a soft feeling. He wondered if Lea felt as free as he felt when he was flying that way.

And, yes. Yes, Lea was feeling free. Lea was happy! Happy and frightened! It was awesome and horrible. But he couldn’t stop laughing, trying to be someone else, to have fun as an acrobat.

However…

However, it has to stop.

“What should I do?” he asked, a bit of fear now in the voice.

“Let go. You risk nothing with the net!” Isa swore.

Lea gulped, closed his eyes and… let go. He fallen and let out another cry though… happy?

He felt himself bounced and his back landed on the net, giving him a strange feeling.

“Are you okay?”

Lea opened one eye and saw Isa, bending in front of him. He was still on the net, just next to him.

“Yes!” He opened the second eye. “Why didn’t you put the net for you?”

“I don’t need it!” Isa replied before lying next to him.

Turning his head, Lea could see his face as Isa was looking him, the feet pointing in different direction from each other.

“You don’t need it or…”

Isa smirked coldly. “I don’t need it,” he replied.

“Thank you for that,” Lea said, understanding he shouldn’t continue on the previous path.

“You’re welcome. If you always wanted to do that, why didn’t you try?”

“When I was taken over by Ansem, fire seemed to fit me better… Helping me to get over it and use it was his main interest.”

“How old were you?”

“Seven,” Lea said. “You?”

“Eight…” He closed his eyes. “Demyx was just a child. I didn’t know what to do with him…”

“You weren’t there with your parents?”

“From what I know, my mother wanted to protect us and she gave us to the first person wanting us. I took care of Demyx, I trained with Ansem… I tried to study… But I especially wanted to protect Demyx…” He glanced at Lea. “And you?”

“A fire destroyed my home and my family…” Lea whispered.

Isa frowned. “You… You mean…”

“Yeah… _I_ did that to my family.”

“I’m sorry, Lea… Do… Do you need something?”

Isa moved his hand, bringing it next to the soft and warm cheek though he didn’t dare to touch it.

“It was twenty years ago, I got used to it… But… I wondered… You left radiant garden when?”

His own hand moved, his fingers brushing Isa’s.

“Ten… maybe eleven years before?”

“What was your name?”

Isa shook his head. “Just mine…”

“I was with you there. We were together… Why I have… no memories?”

“I was only training and taking care of Demyx… I don’t think I was that interesting.”

“I think I would have recognized you. Unless you had a big Glow up!” he laughed, his fingers almost intertwined with his.

“What is a ‘Glow up’?”

“That mean you became really sexy while growing.”

“Oh… So if I wasn’t sexy…” Isa teased.

“I don’t say that! But your boyfriend seems to think that what makes him sell!”

Isa frowned and sat in the net.

“Boyfriend…”

“He’s not?” Lea asked, sitting too. “He’s your fiancé?”

“Thanks God, he’s not,” Isa replied, moving in the net and jumping out of him.

“You…” Lea approached the edge of the net, from the other side since Isa was moving. “You don’t love him?”

Isa stopped and turned his head toward him. “Is it wrong if I don’t know?”

“Wrong?” Lea jumped in the floor. “I don’t know. But not healthy… It’s your boyfriend, you should… You should know and be happy to be with him.”

Isa looked down, hugging himself. “I don’t think I am…”

“You should break up, then!”

The acrobat shook his head and swirled, walking toward the backstage. Lea quickly followed him, getting more and more worry…

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“I can’t!”

“Why?” Lea asked.

“He’d be upset!”

“But he loves you?! He will understand it’s for your happiness and he would…”

“No. He won’t let me leave. He bought me and he wants me! I… I’m just a horrible partner.”

Lea watched him with horror and he held out his hand to grab his, to touch his skin, to try something… But he couldn’t. Not with those recent information.

“The day before yesterday… When you wanted… When you were about to… throw yourself in the lake. I heard you. You said it was nothing… I don’t know you, it could have been an argument between you and him… but now I’m asking you: is it forcing you to anything?”

“What do you mean?”

“Does he rape you?”

Isa seemed shocked with those words and he hugged himself more.

“No.”

“Does he _ask_ you?”

The acrobat watched him with a frown and paced backward. “Are you mad? That’s not something you ask to someone!”

“Do you talk about him or my question?”

Isa turned and held his arms more around himself. “Both…”

Lea came to him, still not daring to touch him. He paced around him and knelt in front of him.

“You know it’s a rape, right?”

“You’re saying non-sense. He’s my boyfriend and I never say ‘no’, it’s not a rape. Have you been sent by Ansem himself? With the only purpose of getting close of the favorite of the boss and start to defame him to destroy the concurrency? That would explain why you don’t know who I am. You’re just a paw. An actor. You’re skilled.”

Isa moved on the side and kept walking toward the backstage.

Lea blinked, not understanding of the situation just slipped out of his hands. He got up and ran to Isa.

“I’m not lying! I didn’t want to stay there and I ran away! I’m saying all of this for you! That’s not sane!”

“Why do you care?!” Isa asked, turning toward him. “I’m nothing for you!”

“Why I wouldn’t care?! You’re sad and if I can make you smile?”

“But WHY?! No one wants to make others smile for nothing in return?! What are you expecting from me?! You want me to say ‘no’? I’ll say it to you. No. Don’t touch me. Don’t hope you’ll be a Knight on a white horse!”

“You’re mistaken on me. The only thing I want is to have friends and make them happy, got it memorized?” He scratched his skull. “But I guess that’s selfish, yes. I want them to be happy so that would make me happy? I want to make you happy because… that would make me happy?”

Isa stared him, keeping distance between them.

“There is… nothing? Nothing else that the desire to make people happy?”

“Yay…”

“It’s perhaps selfish but it’s nice from you, I think. There are worst egoist acts in the World…” He looked down one second then up with a feral cold look. “If you have lied to me, you will regret it, I hope you know this.”

“I won’t lie to you! I swear!” Lea said, rising his hands.

“Very well. You can stay my friend if you want to. But I keep an eye on you.”

Lea nodded and felt a pinch in his Heart. While it was normal to have doubt toward him because he was just a stranger, he was sad the man was able to protect himself from him who just wanted to be his friend and to protect him but would continue to give his entire life to a man using him…

“But… if there is something wrong, one night… You can come see me,” he whispered, not even sure Isa would have heard it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art of this chapter had been provided by @Hyenaroid !! He is not much active on twitter but I saw he has slot open. On those time, if you can help anyone, take the chance!  
> You can found him here on instagram => https://www.instagram.com/hyenaroid/  
> And here on Facebook => https://www.facebook.com/KuroHyene/


	6. Scarf & Mermaid

Exhausted, Isa was lying in his bed. Just a few minutes between the representation, more training and the next representation… But at least, he could offer himself just a handful of minutes. He should eat something too but Demyx got his back for that. The easiest way for him to be sure his brother was eating.

Often, he asked himself if he was just too focused on work to forget all the time to take some food… or was it something else?

Isa moved his hand on the side, searching the big rabbit plush Demyx has offered him. It was quite rare he did need to hug it but sometimes, like today, he needed it. His fingers landed on something soft and he grabbed it but… it was Lea’s scarf. He clenched a bit his hand around the soft fabric and brought it against his Heart.

Today, it has been hard…

Xemnas showed more possessiveness and it was hard. While he could have done a relieving spectacle, with Braig, he felt that Xemnas was jealous and wanted to show him he belonged to him. He could understand because he really did get well along with Lea… He had been genuinely sad and frightened that he could use him, lie to him, for sad purpose… And it seemed like non-sense to him because… Because the only other person he’d feel that way, except for Demyx of course, was Braig. But he knew him since so long…

“Is it possible to just want to make people happy?” he wondered, pressing his fingers on the fabric.

“I do!”

Isa turned his head toward his brother.

“However you’re a treasure,” he replied.

“Whatever the reasons! I do!”

Demyx put down a plate next to him and smiled at him. Isa let go on the scarf and got up to hug him. The younger couldn’t help but smile, snuggling in his arms. The hugs coming from Isa were so rare, he could only enjoy them.

“You’re okay?” he still asked, glancing at him.

“You’re here, why would possibly go wrong?” Isa whispered back.

Demyx snuggled a little more in his arms.

Isa rubbed his back but something was still in his guts…

“The new recruit, Lea… He was in Radiant Garden with us before…”

“Yay! That’s fun to find him back!”

“He… You remember him?”

“Yep!” Demyx looked up at him. “I’m not surprise you didn’t though… You were always busy. When you weren’t taking care of me, you were studying or training!”

Isa did know that but he didn’t tell it so because Demyx tone was so soft there, he just hugged him tenderly, pressing a kiss on his temple.

“I love you,” he said under his breath.

“I love you too!!” Demyx replied, hugging him more tightly, a big smile on his lips.

One week later

Fire circled around the ring, you couldn’t see the slightest thing, a real storm, seeming untamable blocking the view, letting the public breathtaking.

At the moment it became less strong, they could see silhouettes through the flames.

And when it disappeared…

Twenty-four artists at once.

The public didn’t know where to look anymore, amazed. At every second, there was something new to watch. Two acrobats in the loop, the lady in the tightrope, young boys flying in the air, animals…

They could only get excited by the elements.

And when the lady jumped from the tightrope, only caught up by a big and strong man?! What about the acrobat helping the other to get down on the floor only to jump and landing on the shoulder of the Strongmen that didn’t even flinch when he received this weight, just moving his hand to hold the artist as he was only on the tip of one foot? And the boy climbing on the back of a Lion, or the lady surrounded with snakes licking her skin. Or the little girl in such a strange position because of contortions.

“This was the Organization XIII Circus! Here to amaze your eyes, here to make you forget what real life is!”

Fire suddenly appeared and when it disappeared, there were no more artists. The curtains of the backstage were closed and, indeed, it was like the whole crows had dreamed all of this…

In the other side, Dilan held out Isa’s hand so he could easily jump on the floor. Obviously, the man thanked it and moved aside to catch Demyx when he launched a hug on him.

“That was awesome!” he said.

“Yes!!” Ventus approved along with Xion.

“It’s really fun to be all on the right at once!” Ava continued, a fox next to her.

“Yeah!” Sora approved.

Gula walked toward him to help him to get down of the big feline.

Lea felt happy that his idea had been liked, that Xemnas had given a try. In his opinion, there was something strong between all the members here.

“Ienzo, you were right to offer this,” Xemnas said, walking toward Isa.

Ienzo and Lea glanced at each other at this moment. Of course, Ienzo never said it was an idea from Lea because the Ringmaster really didn’t like him. It wasn’t surprising. Isa and him kept training and Lea kept making smile Isa. And his fire Performer was good. He couldn’t even try to push him out because the public loved him and few member pf the Circus too. Like Roxas, Xion and Kairi but also Ienzo who kept help him with ideas. He was a master in illusions, of course it was fun to find surprising tricks together.

“Now, you can leave. Be ready at the first lights tomorrow, don’t forget we’re leaving for another town.”

Lea was relieved about this because he was sure there will be distance between him and his previous Circus. He was sure he could just enjoy being here and having fun with his new friends.

But there was something…

He saw Xemnas grab Isa by the waist and, in silence, push him to let go on Demyx and so to follow him and there… there, Lea felt that two things didn’t go well. But what he could do? If Isa couldn’t see the problem…

However… he could do something.

He walked toward Sora who caressed the Lion under Gula’s look.

“Excuse me. Sora? We can meet in one hour here? With Riku?”

Sora turned his head toward Lea then glanced at Riku, few pace away, talking with his twin. This Circus had the peculiarity to have three twins. Sora and Vanitas who didn’t work together; Riku and Yasude, doing dance or ballet and rhythmic together; and Ventus and Roxas, the sons of Aqua and Terra, doing mostly Korean plank but often working with their father.

“Okay!” Sora smiled.

“Nice!”

Lea smiled back to him and then moved back to his trailer. If they left tomorrow, he had to be sure everything will be good and that he can help when it will be asked.

But, especially, he had this thing to do…

In his trailer, Isa was checking everything was on place. When it will move, it wouldn’t be the moment to have bottles rolling around. And if he forgot something here, or worst if Demyx forgot something here, it will be really hard to have it back. Plus, it was always good to have a home clean and tidy. He often took care of this but lately, the trainings were closer. Because he had to prepare the act with Lea but… but something didn’t work.

And Xemnas became impatient.

He didn’t like them to train and have nothing to offer.

Of course.

Lately, Xemnas was…

Isa sat on his bed, clenching his hands on his legs. He was wearing a black pant so nothing was showing but he knew where his bruises were. More and more.

Coming in his trailer the night was difficult and he just searched excuse to don’t go but… he had no excuse. Yesterday, it was…

Isa pressed his hand over his belly and then forced himself to get up. He had to make the bed. He wouldn’t sleep here tonight. He would sleep with Xemnas because the man had asked so and… he didn’t want at all. He didn’t feel good.

As he was doing the bed, his fingers brushed something really soft. He tugged out Lea’s scarf and blinked.

Lea’s scarf?

He must give it back to him.

Lea would be worry if he couldn’t find it!

The Big Top seemed so empty as Dilan and Aeleus had already moved things. It would only stay to close the Big Top. For now, they let him open so, from far away, the magic was still there, the Dream in the citizen’s head. And maybe they’ll talk about them? Maybe they’ll try to follow them in another city too?

Lea was used to this, of course, but he didn’t like it.

He loved staying in people’s memories but he always had the feeling that, once they won’t see him, they’ll forget him…

He had this feeling too when he talked with Isa, to be honest… The fact the acrobat couldn’t remember him. The fact he couldn’t remember Isa. Everything was ephemeral.

“Lea?”

Lea turned his head toward Riku who walked toward him with Sora.

“What do you want?” this one asked with a yawn.

It would be time for them to go to sleep. They were only teenagers after all.

“Do you know where we go tomorrow?” Lea wondered.

Riku frowned. This was quite weird to have this question addressed to them like that. Did he really plan a ‘reunion’ for _that_?!

“We don’t know?” Sora replied, surprised.

“’Kay. So you really have to help me! You know there is a lake outside and…”

“Really?” Sora asked, even more surprised.

Lea had a cold smirk on his lips as he turned toward the big curtains surrounding the tent. If it wasn’t the prove Xemnas was doing something bad…

“Yes! And I want you to help me to bring Kairi there!” he said.

Riku immediately nodded. He did know this wasn’t the best idea because it was still risky, even if the lake was close, but he couldn’t just stay there when his best friend had to be in a simple water tank again and again. She knew nothing except her trailer and the tank. Sometimes, they had the chance to get a glimpse of the exterior World, especially him who was a bit older than Sora and could do groceries or else but Kairi?

It was time to let her know a bit more of the real life…

As for him, he waited the moment they will be all older and they could just walk out the Circus. Discover more. They loved their artists live but they craved more. One day, they’ll leave. It was a promise.

Today… they followed Lea as he walked out to the tank were Kairi was already readying her to sleep, squashed in as a sardine in a box.

“Kairi?” Sora called, climbing on the side of the tank.

It was raised thanks to a wooden stall and there it was easy to Sora to be at her level as she was rubbing her eyes. But when she noticed him, she smiled and swam so her head could peak out.

“Sora! What is it?” she smiled.

“Lea said we’re going to bring you swim!”

She tilted her head in the side.

“How’s that?”

“There is a lake not far away,” Riku replied. “We’re bringing you there!”

This time she blinked, her expression being between the incomprehension and the excitation.

“We can?”

“We will!” Lea said.

They couldn’t. They couldn’t at all. But he was ready to take the risk to bring a bit of happiness to those deserving it. Kairi really deserved to know what the pleasure of swimming was if she wasn’t able to be a part of the spectacle as she wished for.

“But I won’t be wet before hours and it’s late,” she said.

“I’ll carry you,” Riku said.

Kairi wanted to protest she was too heavy but she also wanted to go and she couldn’t just crawl…

So, she let Lea and Sora help her to come out of the tank. Usually, it was always Aeleus or Dilan taking her out. Something that had pissed off Lea as soon as he knew it. This tank wasn’t good at all!

“Don’t move too much!” Lea said.

“I’m doing my best!” she replied, her arms around Sora’s neck.

“I know!”

They managed to take her out and Riku came to held her. She was thrilled and thanked him with a kiss on the cheek.

Since they have no more time to lose, they walked out of the trailers park, Lea using his fire to light their path. It wasn’t far away, of course, but for Riku it still was heavy. Anyway, he said nothing…

When they arrived, Lea swallowed the pinch in his heart. The place meant a lot for him but it wasn’t the moment here. He pushed back his thoughts and walked to the edge of the lake with the others. You could see the excitation and pleasure in Kairi’s face. Suddenly, it was as if the light was coming right from her.

Riku crouched and helped her to slide in the water. It was cold but she let out a scream of pleasure before jumping in the water, splashing them. They laughed as she rolled in the depth on the lake. It wasn’t that deep… maybe two Kairis deep? But for the first time, she could totally let the length of her body be free. She could swim! She could enjoy the water as she never did!

The lake wasn’t full of life and yet, she could find fishes among the slight vegetation around. And it was so funny for her. She caressed the scale on one carp then dashed to the surface. Coming to the edge, she grabbed Riku and Sora’s hand.

“Come with me!” she said.

She let them the time to protest but as they didn’t, and as they were already wet, she throw them within her, making them laugh too.

“Come to see with me?” she offered.

“I want to!” Sora said, excited. “But can we see?”

Not only they weren’t half-fish but it was the mid of the Night.

“I’ll lighten for you!” Lea said. “Go have fun!”

“Yes?” Kairi asked.

They both nodded then. Riku didn’t want to hurt Kairi, especially when he saw her smile on her lips. And Sora was already so excited.

Kairi dived into the lake and, holding their hands, led them to the bottom of it. They couldn’t see anything but, suddenly, the water was colored by soft orange reflects. They could see the fauna and the flora here and it was beautiful. A Whole New World… Sora held out his hands to those bryophytes on the mud.

The Mermaid didn’t let go on them, liking to see their joy as much as to see the fishes swimming around.

She had to bring them at the surface because they wouldn’t have enough air. After that, they immediately jumped in the water again and one time with one, then with the other, or with both at the same time, or even alone, she did capriole. Each time they were coming out of the water, laugh reverberated around…

Sat on the edge of the lake, controlling the fire for them to have enough light, Lea could only smile.

It was so beautiful.

It was so nice to see them happy.

“Do you have pleasure?”

Lea froze when he heard this voice in his back. He turned to see Xemnas, standing at few paces from him. Dominating.

“Xemnas…”

The man walked toward him. Even when he crouched, he was still more forceful than him, which made Lea shiver.

“Who are you to come in my Circus and take what is mine?!”

“I just let Kairi have fun!”

Lea saw him smirking and the second after, his face crushed the surface of the lake, the cold liquid jumping in his throat. Bubbles floated away and Lea tried to save himself, to grab the man, to throw fire at him. Do anything to stop his life to pass back in front of him and, damn, his life wasn’t pleasant at all.

“XEMNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!”

Kairi’s voice echoed, making shiver and break windows around.

The man groaned his pain. Having a Mermaid hadn’t just advantages. Riku and Sora both swam to the edge. The man was trying to prevent his ears from bleeding, pressing against one.

A hand grabbed his wrist, the one holding Lea in the water. As it forced him to let go on his prey, Xemnas swirled wildly and his hand slapped with a loud sound. His golden eyes grabbed the face now red. His golden eyes grabbed a rage he never saw before.

“Let go on him,” he said.

Lea was hiccupped next to them, spitting as much as water as he could…

“Saïx…” Xemnas glanced at the redhead. “See, I let go on him.” He got up and walked to Isa, brushing the red mark on his cheek.

Isa moved back.

“No…”

Xemnas frowned. Lea glanced at them, his breath short and the three teenagers next to him, showing worries.

“Excuse me?” Xemnas asked.

“What’s happening in your mind? Why did you do this madness?” Isa replied.

“He’s a parasite for our Circus. See this?”

Xemnas showed the three friends in the water. It was no doubt that the idea was coming from Lea. None of the member of this Circus craved for something like freedom. The trailers park, the Circus, was the only thing they had. Even to go on the lake, they wouldn’t have done it.

Isa knew it.

Himself, the only time he did, it was because he thought it was the last thing he’ll do…

Xemnas saw the doubt in his eyes. His fingers caressed Isa’s skin but the man paced backward again, though his legs shaking.

“I said ‘no’,” he stated with a voice full of hesitation.

The yellow scarf flew in the air.

“Don’t ever touch me again…” Isa said.

You could still hear the doubt in his voice as he moved to the edge of the lake and held out his hands to help Lea to get up, his hands tightening very strongly around the wrist.

Xemnas twitched.

At this exact moment, the only thing he wanted to do was to push Isa in the lake. If he couldn’t have him, why someone could?

“Saïx, you’re doing an error. You know nothing about this man while I only try to protect our family. He’s blinding your heart and gives fake dreams to them. Now, Kairi will only feel the sadness, not being able to be in a lake anymore.”

Kairi looked down in the water, holding Sora’s hand who couldn’t help her to move outside of the lake.

“Come with me, it’s getting to cold,” Xemnas said, holding out his hand.

“I won’t come back with you,” Isa replied. “I don’t… I don’t want to be with you,” he whispered.

Xemnas frowned and walked toward him.

“What did you say?”

“I…”

Lea squeezed back Isa’s hand when he felt his hesitation. When he understood that Xemnas was about to use that grip he had on Isa. For Isa, it was obviously already so much… He did more than he never did lately. He said ‘no’, he was about to break this toxic relationship… and all he needed was a hand.

Just one hand.

“I don’t want to be with you.”

Xemnas looked him right in the eyes and Isa moved his away.

Riku noticed the hand the man was moving toward them and he jumped on the berm. Coming in front of Lea and Isa he held out his arms.

“Sir. We’re coming back.”

“We’re leaving early tomorrow. Don’t hope I let you stay longer in bed because you had chosen to enjoy this lake.”

He turned the heels and walked toward the trailer park.

As his silver mane disappeared, Isa slid on the floor, still holding Lea’s hand.

“Are you okay?” they asked at the same time.

Lea crouched next to him. “I’d be okay…”

Isa nodded slightly. He held out the scarf.

“This is yours…” he whispered.

“You…”

Lea wanted to say to him he could keep it but it wasn’t the night to shake his self-confidence. He wouldn’t impose him to keep the scarf… and maybe, Isa didn’t care at all about this scarf…

“Kairi…”

Isa turned toward the lake and he plunged his arms in the water before getting up, holding her.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re alright?” he asked to the teenager.

“Yes,” Riku replied.

“Yes, don’t worry,” the mermaid added.

Sora nodded and scratched his nape. “I’m sorry you’ll be sad, Kairi. It seemed to be a good idea and…”

“It was!” she said with a smile. “Please! Don’t listen to Xemnas on this. I’m so happy to have discovered that!”

But Sora couldn’t help thinking she will be sad, lost in a tank when she could have been in bigger water area…

When Lea saw him that way, saw them all that way, he only could feel sad. Xemnas had something to worm in them, let his impression within them…

When he opened the door of his trailer, Isa’s hand was still shaking a bit. As soon he pushed the door, he received Demyx in his arms and he hugged him tenderly.

“You’re doing okay?” he asked with worries. “I heard… It was Kairi, right?”

“Yes… everything is fine. Nothing had been broken?”

“No…” Demyx replied.

But he found his brother a bit…

“You’re sure everything is okay? You need to sit?”

He accompanied him at the bed and Isa didn’t push him back. He actually needed this help. Everything was blurry in his mind. Why did he react that way? For years, Xemnas had been like that with him and yet, he let him do, sure he was the bad boyfriend in the couple… and to be fair, he still thought it. He had broken up with him because seeing him hurting Lea did something in his heart.

It hurt.

Why would it hurt that much?

Why would he care about Lea being hurt or not?

It gave him the strength but it seemed wrong and he was afraid… what if Xemnas decided to follow his threat? What if…

He gulped as he pushed out his shoes and laid in his bed.

“I… I broke with Xemnas…”

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, brother.” Demyx climbed in the bed with him. “I’m here!”

“Thank you…” Isa whispered as he hugged him.

He still didn’t want to hurt him, told him how much he suffered. He didn’t want to shatter his dreams. He had to protect him…


	7. New town, same destiny

New town, same destiny.

New town, same job.

They were arrived in the morning and at ten am, everything was already prepared. First representation the night with ticket at half-price. So people were interested to come and they’ll push theirs friends to come after. It was what Xemnas did since so many years and that was always working.

In few minutes, they will start and the artists were all finishing to get ready with their outfits. The spectacle will last for one hour and half more or less and those who will be later will have to wait but they could continue to warm up or just cheer up their friends.

Only two-three minutes left.

“Xigbar.”

“Yeah?”

“There is a change in your act.”

“Now?” Braig asked, surprised.

“Yes. The part with Saïx is cancelled.”

“Why?” Isa asked, approaching him.

Though, he stayed at few paces from him, hugging himself because he needed strength. Strength within him. Strength he didn’t think he could have in his heart, to be fair…

“The act we’re working on with Lea isn’t ready yet…”

“I know,” the Ringmaster replied, adjusting the red vest on his back. “You’re not going on scene.”

“I… I… what?!” Isa asked, not understanding.

Xemnas glanced at him. “I prefer you not to do the opening.”

“That’s stupid!” Braig said. “He’s prepared!”

“I know. But it’s better if he doesn’t take part of the opening.”

Isa watched the man with stupor, his legs shaking. He didn’t understand what was that?

Lea stared Isa at few paces of him. He knew how much the man needed those moments of adrenalines. Especially after having shared training with him.

Xemnas moved to go in the ring but he stopped next to Lea.

“He’ll be back, sooner or later, he’ll be tired of your life, of having nothing and he’d be back to me.”

Lea blinked. What was he saying?

He stared as the man was walking in the ring and then dashed to Isa.

“You’re okay?” he asked.

“Don’t worry!” Demyx said. “It’s certainly for the public to love you even more tomorrow!”

“Yeah, the kiddo is right. Xemnas is dumb because you’ve lost your time but tomorrow I’ll make sure you and me, we’re going on Cloud Nine!”

Isa didn’t even react to it.

Which worried Braig. Usually, his best friend would at least react.

“I’ll handle it, Braig,” Lea said.

Braig watched him as Invi passed next to them to go on the ring, snakes following her. She had been called and though she was also worrying for Isa’s reaction, she had a work to do!

“Please?” Lea said.

Xemnas was walking toward them. Braig had a strange expression on the face and he quickly pressed his lips against Isa’s before showing him on the side, silently agreeing for him to take care of Isa. He was finishing the spectacle anyway…

And it was better to have Isa away from Xemnas.

It was better to keep Demyx with him. He couldn’t be sure of what was happening there be he could _guess_.

Lea brought Isa to his booth and helped him to sit on the tool in front of the mirror. He was really worried to see him in such a state. As much Isa loved his work, as much Xemnas’ words were terrifying… could it be real? Did Isa had understand what was about to happen? What was already happening…

“He’s trying to punish me…”

Yes.

He did.

And that was only frightening and worrying Lea even more. The acrobat knew the man for so long. If he thought that, it could be the true.

He was catching a thread of hope, praying they were mistaking themselves. It was just fear. Only fear…

“Maybe he really wants to reserve you for later? We’re staying two weeks here.”

“I broke up with him and suddenly, less than one day after, he doesn’t want me to do the only thing I liked? I thought he’ll…”

“He’ll what?” Lea asked.

Isa grabbed his wrist and held it very tightly.

Lea caressed his hand because he could remember that grip. He knew how much it was hard… He was still a bit sore from yesterday…

So, he took softly his hand, kissing it as tenderly as he could.

“He used to say…” Isa shook his head. “Nothing…”

“You don’t have to tell it to me,” Lea replied. “But if one day, you feel you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

“You’re too kind, Lea… I’m sorry you had to arrive in a terrible situation like this one.”

“I’ve the feeling I’m the one to be sorry… I fucked up yesterday. But… But you’re not with him anymore. It can’t become worst, right?”

Isa watched him and pressed his fingers around his.

His smile was saying everything…

“I wish I’m thinking about the worst however, I highly doubt it’s just an effect of my imagination…”

“Yeah! Maybe tomorrow, you’d be able to go on the scene! You’ll see!!”

“Yes…”

Isa forced himself to smile but the worries were big within him. He knew what Xemnas kept menacing him. He always prayed for the man to not apply his threats just because he wanted to keep him for him and there, he proved himself that he was right.

Or…

Or things will become even worst…

“Eh…”

Isa looked down when he felt the hands over his cheeks. He almost twitched when he saw flames coming suddenly and then noticed a myriad of butterflies and others insects. He moved his hand, pressing it above one of Lea’s.

“You’re really too nice.”

“I think I’m selfish. I love your smile and just want to do everything to see it.”

“Then, you’re the sweetest selfish being I know. Thank you, Lea. I’ll… I will change myself and come back to my trailer. Thank you.”

“Take care of yourself,” Lea said.

The flames vanished and the redhead moved backward. He wanted to do more but he knew he couldn’t…

Maybe later?

Maybe…

He walked toward the backstage next to the ring. Xemnas was on scene, introducing Ventus and Roxas for their impressing act. He folded his arms, just staring the man. He hoped his eyes could burn someone from inside. He hoped the man would feel that he hated him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced to the side, just one second, just enough to see Demyx and his worries.

“It will go better for your brother. He’s changing himself and then he’ll go back to his trailer,” he explained.

“Thank you!” Demyx smiled before moving away to dash to his brother.

The place was empty, normally, but Lea could feel someone just next to him. He didn’t react, still keeping his eyes over the Ringmaster who was coming back to them. They stared each other.

“It won’t go better and you know it…”

He knew it.

But he hoped so much that things would become better… Please, just for the love of Isa…

In the morning, Lea was looking in his tiny freezer. It was almost empty… Except the meal they were taking together, the rest was done separately, breakfast and quick break meal were part of this. Some of them had special treats or drinks. They had to ask it to Xemnas and the amount of things they could have was related of what their acts brought to the Circus. He hadn’t much. He wasn’t there since enough time yet. For now on, he just had a box of ice cream, almost eaten, product of self-care and one box of cereal plus milk. The sodas have been given by Ienzo actually…

It was still early.

Well… early for him!

Because it was already nine am and he would have to be warmed up and ready in two hours for the first representation.

He couldn’t help but think about Isa…

Having seen him yesterday as he was… it affected him more than he’d thought and yet… He really was sad to see him that way. He never liked to see people sad, preferring the smile on the lips but there, with Isa, it was strange… It wasn’t the same kind of sadness. It was deeper, channeling in his core…

He sat on his bed with a bowl of cereal he just prepared to himself.

He wanted to go to see the man but he couldn’t like that. He couldn’t because Xemnas clearly made him understand that he was a problem. It was better to stay there, stretch here, warm up here and even change himself here.

One hour and half passed with him doing everything he needed to. Well almost everything because he still was in short and t-shirt, his long scarf around his waist, his hairs tied in a ponytail and almost tamed for once.

He heard knock at his door when he was hesitating to doze or not…

After all, he was the last on the scene and he could warm him up a little more? He was just tired and wanted to do nothing.

“Yeah?” he said to the door, anyway.

Ienzo entered in.

“You’re planning to sleep,” he asked, seeing him almost under the blankets.

“Just a bit!”

“But you have work, dear. Come with me!”

“Now?”

“Yes, now! It’s starting in a half-hour, I remind yourself. Don’t play with fi…”

Ienzo stopped talking and he was right to do it because, immediately, Lea had smiled, looking him.

“Stop to be annoying, child!”

“Come on, it’s too funny to be annoying!” Lea smiled.

“It should have become your profession!” Ienzo replied.

The Fire Performer came out of his bed and snatched his bag with his outfit, walking to his friend to press a kiss on his cheek.

“If only!”

He passed next to him and jumped on the floor, turning his head toward him to see if he followed him or not. Of course, Ienzo followed him, just after closed the trailer. And he was totally right to come to pick him up because the crowd was already gathering around. they’ll have some difficulties to pass since they were busy watching the animals, trying to talk with the artists stupid enough not to be under the tent and stupid enough to come to see pick up the other.

Lea glanced toward the place Kairi’s tank must be.

He was still bitter toward this…

Kairi deserved better.

Xemnas was doing shit…

Thinking of this…

“When Isa is scheduled?” Lea asked as they were waking toward the Big Top.

“Well…”

The redhead looked toward Ienzo. Which seemed clearly annoyed, blowing his lock before biting the corner of his lower lips.

“He won’t be scheduled?”

Ienzo nodded.

“Xemnas refused to let him train… He said it’s useless and would take the equipment useful for others.”

“He’s punishing him…” Lea whispered.

“Yes. For whatever reason…”

Lea totally knew the reason and that was annoying him even more… He wanted to punch Xemnas in the face. He wanted to punch him so strongly…

“Did he explain?”

“No.”

“And Isa what he…”

“If you have been there, you’d know,” Ienzo replied, glancing at him.

A slight smirk appeared on his lips.

“Yeah. I could’ve been there… But I didn’t want to be there because of him!”

Ienzo frowned, this time seeming not to understand.

The young man was smart. He was able to understand everything in a really short time and he was used to discover all people secrets in a glance.

In this frown, Lea was seeing more than any other could see.

He could find a reply to the question simmering in his Heart.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Unless Ienzo preferred to play with him. It was something else with him… He liked to play with people as if they were only mice in his cat’s paws…

He couldn’t ask him what was bothering him again and again.

Why his Heart was lightened when he saw Isa?

“Ienzo!” He turned toward him and put the bag in his hands. “I’m coming back! I’d be there for my act! I swear!”

“Xemnas doesn’t like you…”

“Woah, that scoop!” Lea mocked with a smirk.

“… Is it something new if I tell you he’s searching any reason to push you out. And can’t pretend you’re not giving everything to the crowd’s eyes?”

“Uh… kinda? I knew more or less but…” Lea shrugged. “I’ll be there, I swear.”

He turned around and ran to the trailers, slaloming into the crown and coming to Isa’s trailer. He knocked at the door of said trailer, pressing his forehead against the metal. He begged inside of his mind ‘please, open.’ Or let him come inside.

This would be awesome too.

Just being able to come inside.

Demyx was maybe outside, helping in the Big Top? Probably… How could they continue to live, those two brothers, if they didn’t do something, they wouldn’t have the advantage. And at some point…

Lea felt a chill.

Was it Xemnas’ plan?

Obviously it was…

He knocked harder.

“Isa?! You’re here?!”

No reply.

He didn’t know Isa since longtime but he did understand things about him. He did understand he could let his life slip from his fingers… It was already dancing on a tightrope so…

Lea pushed open the door and entered in the trailer.

He saw Isa lying in a bed, not moving at all.

“Isa?”

He walked toward him. Maybe he was already…

He sat on the edge of the mattress and saw the turquoise eyes moving toward him.

“Thanks God, you’re alive…”

“Hm…”

Isa wouldn’t say he was alive… Not in his opinion. This wasn’t living. This was surviving. And he wouldn’t have a lot of faith to pursue this… He wasn’t stupid. He had understood what Xemnas planned for him. If the acts and the energy he gave off didn’t tell it to him… his eyes told it to him.

His eyes were saying “you’ll break”.

And if he wanted him to break… that meant…

“Eh… Isa…”

“You’ll be late…”

“I’ve one hour left. Maybe two. I can stay with you…”

Isa moved on the side of the bed. Lea came with him, lying just next to him. He watched him, watched as his hand was on his own belly. He noticed now that he was still wearing his training outfit.

“It’s not important what he’s doing. He can’t… He can’t win. What he’s trying to do is… is busting ya. He can’t. You’re…”

“Yes… He can’t break me…”

Lea felt relieved.

“Because I’m already shattered,” Isa whispered.

“That’s wrong!”

Isa wasn’t watching him, looking the ceiling.

“That’s true… You know this… The first time you saw me, the second time you saw me… remember, I was about to let my live vanish in the void… All you saw… it was only pretending.”

“I saw you happy.”

“When? When I was dancing in the air?”

Isa looked at him.

“This right… has been disestablished to me…” He gulped. “No spectacle. No training. Nothing…”

Lea moved his fingers toward his hand but didn’t dare to touch him.

“What should I do?”

“Don’t play his game… Don’t… We… We find a way. We find a way. Maybe… Maybe he’ll let you have this one. If you manage to be happy anyway.”

“You’re living in a Dream, Lea. Perhaps you survived all of this thanks to your Dreams…” he said, touching an old burn mark on the slight arm. “But I don’t. I have no Dreams. Not a single Dream… Perhaps I had some when I was young… however, Xemnas bought me and destroyed them, one by one. I had _something_ when I was his boyfriend. That wasn’t much… but that was something…”

“You think? You wanted to die…”

“I still want to die. What have changed?”

Lea opened his mouth to reply but he couldn’t reply. He had nothing to say.

“You asked me why I didn’t use net…”

“You told me you didn’t need it.”

“This was my net. I couldn’t really fall forasmuch as… this stayed. But now… Now, I’m falling and what I’ll do?”

Lea watched him, his fingers twitching next to his.

“I’ll catch you.”

Isa watched him, his hands shaking.

“Why?”

“You always ask me why… What if… What if I had no reason?” he asked.

If only he knew…

“I don’t… I don’t think it’s the solution. How would you… I can’t stay here doing nothing. If I…” Isa pressed his hand over his face. “You should leave… you have an act to perform.”

“What afraid you?”

“Why did you run away from a Circus to come in another one?”

“I can’t do anything else…”

“I can’t do anything else,” Isa whispered.

“We could… go in another Circus. Just do our own?”

“What if we fail?” Isa asked.

“Whatever solution I’m thinking about, I only see one thing… you suffering. If there is one chance, even slight, to change that, I think we should take it… If we leave, what do you see?”

Isa moved his knees and gulped.

“Nothing worst…”

He stared him, still shaking slightly.

“It’s not important if things are dangerous for me but whatever is happening, I want Demyx to be protected,” he stated.

“Outside of here, it would probably be easier.”

“Why am I trusting you?”

“I don’t know,” Lea replied with a nervous chuckle. “Because… you’re desperate?”

Isa nodded slightly but he thought… maybe it was because he _believed_ him.


	8. Rewrite the Stars

“This is non-sense.”

“This is the only solution we have,” Lea replied.

“Of course it is, but it is non-sense anyway. What will you do? How…”

In front of him, Ienzo sighed. They knew they couldn’t do it alone. Alone, it would be impossible… They had to ask a bit of help and while they couldn’t ask help from everyone, some of the members of the Circus were totally trustable.

Ienzo turned in his trailer, disappearing.

Lea gulped.

It maybe had been stupid to come say goodbye? Ienzo and he had great bonds and he couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. The last time, when he left Radiant Garden, that was he did and, more than ever, he felt he was forgotten there.

It was selfish but he didn’t want Ienzo to hate him. He didn’t want the young man to forget him…

“’kay… bye,” he sighed.

He had to join Isa. The man would have enough problems yet to just convince his brother to leave. He never told him everything. Lea wouldn’t have neither so… Yes, it would be difficult.

Lea swirled on himself and moved to Isa’s trailer, his hands in his pockets.

Maybe Ienzo wouldn’t have forgotten him if he just had kept his mouth shut. Maybe…

He was just an idiot…

A hand landed on his shoulder and he quickly turned around, ready to defend himself. Ready to swoop out Xemnas if he had this opportunity.

It was Ienzo.

Holding out a bag that seemed quite heavy.

“It’s dangerous to go alone, take this.”

Lea took it, blinking. He looked inside and saw enough food for at least one week. It wasn’t the best, but it was something… And if they took care, it could last a bit more. They could do their best, work, be waiter, try to find a way… at this moment, Lea just thought they had maybe a tiny light. It wouldn’t be the best but it was something…

“I can give you a bit of time. I just don’t know how much time.”

“Thank you.”

“I hope we’ll see each other again,” Ienzo muttered.

“Same… I’ll miss you.”

Ienzo hugged him. “Go,” he said.

Lea nodded. He forced himself to move away and quickly walked to Isa’s trailer, trying not to look behind him because it would have been too suspicious.

When he arrived at the trailer, Isa was talking with Braig. Demyx was sat in the step next to them and he seemed to be lost but yet, ready to leave. Maybe they told him it was the only thing that could make Isa happy? Maybe they had told him everything?

Lea just walked to them.

Braig noticed him and frowned.

“You take care of himself, ‘kay?”

“Yes!”

“Don’t be like the other asshole,” Braig added.

At this moment, Isa and Lea glanced at each other. Did that mean Braig knew everything since the beginning? But hadn’t the way to act?

The situation did was tricky.

As long as Isa didn’t recognize the problem and talked about it, they could only guess… But Lea was almost sure. Braig himself seemed to know way more than he was saying… Now, he wanted to ask him if there were others solutions?

But Braig was letting his best friend leave.

Maybe there was any other solution.

“You’re ready?” Lea asked.

“Yes.”

Isa took Demyx’s hand, helping him to get up and he moved toward Lea. Which took his hand to support him. He nodded slightly to Braig to thank him for everything.

Together, they moved toward the exit of the trailer park.

Now, all they needed was to be discrete enough and not being seen by Xemnas.

Lea could feel Isa’s hand shaking in his hand.

Isa was afraid. If they got caught and Xemnas was mad, if he did let his threats flew over?

“Everything will be alright,” Lea whispered.

“I hope so,” Isa replied.

But he couldn’t be sure.

It was frightening.

From the moment they will be outside of this Circus, in the real World, when they’ll have freedom… what could tell them that Xemnas won’t come back? Won’t find them again? Especially if they had another Circus. They would be known at a moment…

It was a bad idea. A really bad idea…

Maybe he could pace back.

Maybe he could just…

“Wait…”

Demyx watched over them.

“Can we…” Lea moved out his hand toward the tank were Kairi was always. Or almost always… “Can we save her too? She deserves better than this.”

“We should!” Demyx said.

Isa nodded slightly.

He knew what it was to be in prison. Kairi deserved better than this. She deserved to be able to live in a World for her. She deserved to be free, with an Ocean under her fingers and, maybe, able to come back seeing her friends as soon as she wanted it?

They moved toward the tank even if it was a bit harder for them. Less discrete.

The tank was in a place way more frequented.

If Xemnas saw this…

“Kairi?” Lea called as they were soon enough.

The young lady moaned and rubbed her eyes, her head peeking out of the tank.

“Lea? What is it?” she asked. “You’ll have problems!”

“Yeah, I bet so. We’re leaving,” he said under his breath. “Wanna come with us?”

She blinked, not understanding those words. Not as such. “The last time, you got serious problems with Xemnas. I won’t participate in that. When he’ll catch you…”

“Yeah, he won’t. We’re leaving. We’re quitting.”

“Like… forever?”

“Yay!”

Kairi glanced to the trailers, her hands squeezing around the glass.

“But… what about Sora and Riku? They will be worry.”

“We can’t take the risk to warn them but as soon as we will be in a correct situation, we’ll warn them.”

“Braig is aware of us leaving. He could ease your friends,” Demyx certified.

“Ienzo too,” Lea pointed out.

Kairi hesitated. She had tasted the freedom and she hated this place. Accepting was a good idea. Everything could change… and if Riku and Sora could be a part of her live, once again, she’d be happy about it…

“Okay…” she replied. “Okay, I’m coming with you.”

Isa let go on Demyx and Lea, walking to the tank to help her to move outside. He was the strongest among them and probably the one being able to carry her to the freedom.

“Thank you,” Lea said to him.

Isa didn’t reply. He hoped the liberty was what Kairi expected. Because, at this moment, it totally was frightening…

On the tiny wall of a bridge, Isa was walking, holding Kairi in his arms. They were outside but they had no idea where to go. The City was so big. So frightening. So reliving.

In the other side of the bridge, there were a big river and Kairi watched it with excitation.

“Isa… You’re okay?” Lea asked.

“I’m trying…”

“This is a new life. I hope you’ll be able to embrace it…”

Isa didn’t reply. He had so many fears on this moment.

He stopped in the middle of the bridge and bent above the water, letting Kairi jump in the river. A big splash replied and Demyx couldn’t help but let out a giggle as he leaned in front of the depth, too.

Lea approached his hand from Isa’s, his fingers brushing Isa’s.

“It’s gonna be alright, Isa. Just give time to time…”

Time to time?

It seemed to be to softs words for the pain lashing within him. Time to time… He suffered since ten years. Since more than that… it seemed he needed more than time… He didn’t think he could make it…

Isa’s fingers brushed the fingers trying to keep him there. The others brushed his and never been able to catch him back. Isa’s body was flying. Isa’s body was falling… his breath just stopped while the gravity swirled around him, ravishing him. He closed the eyes, savoring this feeling of freedom.

It was warm.

It was just warm and delightful.

His fall stopped. Abruptly.

He opened his eyes to see the soft face covered of freckles of Lea… the man was smiling to him.

Around them, there was a crowd, the breath stole by the act but it didn’t matter.

“Told ya, I’d catch you,” Lea whispered, a wide smile spreading his lips.

Isa passed his arms on his shoulders and used him to throw his legs around the circle just next to them, the hoop just under his knees, his ankles around the rope.

Since they had left Xemnas’ Circus, Isa wasn’t Saïx, wasn’t the Lunar Diviner anymore and yet, his outfit was still the same. He was still spreading stars in Lea’s mind, steal stealing his mind and taking his breath…

The only thing that had truly changed was the yellow scarf around his waist…

Isa held out his hands as the fire was spreading around the circle, his fingers brushing Lea’s cheeks before their lips met.

He smiled to him.

Smiled widely.

Before the ring moved to the top of the Big Top.

Demyx couldn’t help but smile in the red bright outfit he had since they were here. This wasn’t the best Circus, this wasn’t the place where you’d get a lot of money but, little by little, they had been able to recreate a family. Kairi found back her friends, Braig joined them, Ienzo and Even came back with Naminé…

And Demyx never had seen his brother as happy as now. He was free, he was at Lea’s side and when he went to sleep in his trailer, he stayed there all night long. When he came back, he wasn’t crying…

This was a family.

A family without the threat of Xemnas hovering above them.

It was over for ever.

Perhaps…


End file.
